Czovczov Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I'm so terrible at Chess. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.
←Rate | 02-09-2012 10:11 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I'm going to the liquor store and I'm afraid it may be closed.
←Rate | 09-18-2012 04:42 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn't sing it out loud in public.
←Rate | 01-30-2013 05:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Denial (n.) Balding men with ponytails.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 09:10 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is full of possibilities and I have a strong feeling none of them are mine.
←Rate | 11-12-2012 12:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy?
←Rate | 09-18-2012 12:23 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison
←Rate | 11-17-2013 13:10 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Repeat after me: It doesn't matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won't solve it.
←Rate | 09-24-2013 02:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried ordering one of Justin Bieber's CDs for my niece's birthday on Amazon. Amazon said "costumers who bought this also bought a rope and a stool."
←Rate | 03-03-2013 00:46 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon People with a sense of humor are so much easier to talk to and get along with.
←Rate | 10-24-2012 02:13 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know, if on a full moon if you light a candle and say the name of someone you love 3 times, you'll look stupid doing that?
←Rate | 01-08-2012 05:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a bird crap on a Smart car. Totaled it.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 01:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.
←Rate | 03-28-2016 11:31 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 14:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, set them free. If they come back knocking on your door with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea.
←Rate | 10-10-2012 13:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get hoarders addicted to crack, they will sell all their s hit..Problem solved.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 11:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye and Kim finally break up - does that automatically put her back on the Black market? Asking for Lil Wayne.
←Rate | 04-14-2013 11:51 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon The embarrassing moment when you accept a compliment that wasn't meant for you.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 05:26 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your religion is worth killing for, then do us all a favour and start with yourself.
←Rate | 09-15-2012 12:01 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?
←Rate | 01-11-2012 23:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  



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