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flinnie Funny Status Messages
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Page: 17 of 33
Just once I would like to hear a rapper say that he is pretty average with the rhymes.
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10-23-2011 19:44 by
flinnie
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Lead singers, don't hold the mic out and ask us to sing the chorus. We paid money to watch you do that.
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01-24-2012 11:48 by
flinnie
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I'm a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
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05-08-2014 05:17 by
flinnie
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The people that cheer and high five after their family member gives a dumb answer on Family Feud are better people than me
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03-06-2013 07:39 by
flinnie
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Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to see a drug commercial that says, "May cause extreme awesomeness."
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03-18-2011 09:00 by
flinnie
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I sing in the shower. I think I sound pretty good. The other people in the gym don't agree
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09-06-2012 17:14 by
flinnie
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why don't they just open a separate school for kids that don't have a peanut allergy?
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06-26-2012 06:13 by
flinnie
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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
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05-18-2011 05:51 by
flinnie
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The Mayan Calendar says the world will end on Dec 21, 2012, which really means a lot of babies will be born on Sept 21, 2013.
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09-07-2011 05:43 by
flinnie
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Anyone can air guitar. It takes a true artist to air tambourine.
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02-02-2012 04:54 by
flinnie
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Women spend all of their time deciding how to misinterpret everything you say.
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12-04-2011 18:41 by
flinnie
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I like to relive my single days when my wife gets home late by eating dinner standing over the sink.
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07-06-2011 13:25 by
flinnie
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Suggested Transformers 4 movie poster slogan: Your Suspicions Are Correct, We Hate You and Think You Are Stupid.
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02-09-2014 07:43 by
flinnie
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I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
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04-29-2014 08:07 by
flinnie
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If you've ever put away a kitchen knife and not imagined the day you'll dramatically fight a burglar with it, congrats, I guess you're the adult.
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04-17-2014 09:44 by
flinnie
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I'm holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
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08-24-2011 16:12 by
flinnie
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Facebook: making the high school reunion last forever.
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07-16-2011 20:02 by
flinnie
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Tried to make a list of goals today, but it got kind of sad after the first 12 all ended with "and then get some Dairy Queen."
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09-10-2012 06:22 by
flinnie
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When I was younger, I wanted to be a famous writer like Hemingway. I got the alcoholism down, just not the hunting and suicide part
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05-11-2011 18:12 by
flinnie
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Whenever I'm bored I stop a stranger and ask "where am I?" and whatever they say I runaway screaming "Hahaha I'm a genius! I can teleport!"
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08-09-2012 10:01 by
flinnie
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