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snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 15 of 22
If you LOVE something, set it free.. If it comes back to you,,,,you love a boomerang
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04-11-2012 06:50 by
snotty
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FYI: When each one of the Golden Girls died, the remaining ones gained their power,,, and now Betty White is an immortal highlander.
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10-19-2013 21:53 by
snotty
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I never know how much Cream of Wheat to make for the trick or treaters.
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10-28-2013 20:19 by
snotty
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300 + friends... and not one of you saw where I put the remote.?
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03-17-2014 11:10 by
snotty
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Afternoon drinking game: Watch Maury & take a shot anytime you hear "axed" instead of "asked".
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05-30-2015 09:46 by
snotty
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The last 10 seconds of every voicemail my grandmother leaves me is her trying to hang up the phone.
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10-26-2013 18:05 by
snotty
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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. But with your help, we can put a well in their home village.... Hi,, I'm Sarah McLachlan
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03-06-2016 21:22 by
Snotty
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Ugh,,, This oatmeal tastes like It's gonna need a donut.
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12-23-2013 16:40 by
snotty
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Thirty five people died from eating cantaloupe in Jan. And that,, right there, should be this years new slogan for Krispy Kreme.
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03-05-2012 20:50 by
snotty
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If you are the older twin, call your little sibling 50 times a day and say “when I was your age” then describe what you did 6 minutes ago
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04-30-2013 06:33 by
snotty
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Where do residents of Hawaii win all expenses paid vacations to?
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08-18-2012 09:55 by
snotty
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My left buttcheek fell asleep. I'm Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
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09-06-2012 15:23 by
snotty
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If I owned a copy shop, I'd only hire identical twins to work there.
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06-22-2013 22:57 by
snotty
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Diet tip: If you think you're hungry, you might actually just be thirsty.. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel.
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01-21-2014 13:18 by
snotty
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*Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
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10-04-2014 17:12 by
snotty
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Which side of the plate does the phone go on?
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11-28-2014 12:38 by
snotty
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Pull up to the gas pump,,tanks on the wrong side.. Did a u-ie,,Tanks still on the wrong side... I quietly got back in my car and left.
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03-22-2012 20:37 by
snotty
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The U.S. men's soccer team failed to qualify for the Olympics this week,,,,, upsetting nearly 10 Americans.
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08-03-2012 14:07 by
snotty
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I do a spot-on impression of a man in his 30's not living up to his full potential...
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11-16-2012 20:15 by
snotty
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I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
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07-18-2013 14:57 by
snotty
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