Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I'm not leaving here without some kind of balloon.
←Rate | 03-13-2018 02:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is in everyone’s best interest to just keep scrolling
←Rate | 03-13-2018 02:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happier than a Goth Girl being carried off by a flock of ravens.
←Rate | 03-13-2018 03:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it my illegal logging operation is a success.
←Rate | 03-29-2018 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
←Rate | 04-08-2018 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone just told me I wasn’t as dumb as I looked and now I’m confused, was it an insult or a compliment?
←Rate | 11-09-2018 09:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Silver Lining: A 350 credit score prevents Identity theft! just saying
←Rate | 11-10-2018 22:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, the weather outside can bite me. My car won't start to spite me. I can't feel my freakin' toes. Winter blows, Winter blows, Winter blows.
←Rate | 12-15-2018 00:21 by JeffW Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear future musicians of the world. Just because you can push a button with a drum sound does NOT make you a musician. People used to actually play their instruments.
←Rate | 12-18-2018 22:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon CNN BREAKING NEWS: Due to Government Shutdown, all the aliens in Area 51 have been released..
←Rate | 01-10-2019 16:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always wanted to lay naked on a bear skin rug in front of a fireplace. Unfortunately, Cracker Barrel has a policy against this.
←Rate | 11-10-2018 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" The start of a John Lennon song, or the wife about to start an argument?
←Rate | 12-14-2018 13:31 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.
←Rate | 12-16-2018 05:24 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad part about being a bomb disposal technician..... It takes me 6 hours to open my Christmas presents.
←Rate | 12-17-2018 01:49 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.
←Rate | 12-25-2018 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon After the 7th day of January. Please keep your "Happy New Year" messages to yourself. We probably, have already cried, been depressed, been angry at someone, eaten leftover food more than once and paid an unexpected bill. It's no longer new or happy.
←Rate | 01-06-2019 05:52 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I’m small but influential. Like bacteria or Tom Cruise.
←Rate | 04-18-2018 14:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: She really needs to calm down. Alcohol: You should tell her.
←Rate | 05-17-2018 23:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I take my irresponsibilities seriously.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 05:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend's dog is tough. I interrogated him for over an hour and he still wouldn't tell me who's a good boy.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 07:58 Comments (0)  



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