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Czovczov Funny Status Messages
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A huge ass spider crawled across my bed and now I can't sleep because the firefighters are here putting out the mattress flames.
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05-26-2012 14:47 by
Czovczov
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The conversation between your fingers and someone else's skin is the most magnificent discussion you can ever have.
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05-28-2012 13:28 by
Czovczov
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We're all adults here, you can say "p0rn" instead of "late night commercial"
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06-04-2012 14:13 by
Czovczov
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Remember when pressing pause on a VCR used to make everyone on the screen have a seizure?
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06-06-2012 13:40 by
Czovczov
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Trying to talk to a girl without staring at her boobs is like trying to poop without peeing.
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06-16-2012 12:24 by
Czovczov
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Rise and shine all the beautiful women of the world. Ugly women, go back to sleep, your time is coming, at night.
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06-19-2012 03:13 by
Czovczov
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I always cry after sex. God, I hate prison!
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06-29-2012 06:15 by
Czovczov
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My girl just called to tell me she went into labor. I said, "Hell yeah, its about time you got a job!"
10
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07-01-2012 01:06 by
Czovczov
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I still remember that moment I said I love you too, coz thats the exact moment my life got fuçked up!
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07-01-2012 01:49 by
Czovczov
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My GPS sighs and rolls its eyes every time it says "Recalculating".
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07-01-2012 15:29 by
Czovczov
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Are you sure we haven't met before? Because I feel like I hate you from somewhere.
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07-01-2012 15:33 by
Czovczov
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Some people are here for laughs. Some for therapy. Some for sex. Me? I'm here to learn the difference between your and you're.
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07-02-2012 14:03 by
Czovczov
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Life is like p0rn. Much better when people stop talking.
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07-03-2012 14:45 by
Czovczov
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I was seeing a therapist for trust issues, but I had to quit going when I found out he was seeing other patients.
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07-06-2012 13:27 by
Czovczov
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I helped my neighbor move a super heavy couch last night and he didn't even thank me. That's ok, his wife thanked me on it today. Twice.
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07-06-2012 15:02 by
Czovczov
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I'd kiss you right now but my breath would make you instantly drunk!
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07-07-2012 14:24 by
Czovczov
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My Spiritual and religious friends, I'll never go to church with you. My fit and Healthy friends, I'll never go to the gym with you. My Drunk and high friends, when and where?
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07-07-2012 15:19 by
Czovczov
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Kanye West and Kim Kardashian dating each other saves two other people in the world from misery!
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07-08-2012 14:21 by
Czovczov
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It's very dangerous to tweet and drive; you may end up with TYPOS!
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07-10-2012 14:09 by
Czovczov
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Women need a reason to cheat, men just need another woman.
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07-11-2012 06:55 by
Czovczov
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