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Page: 11 of 41
If age is just a number, can I get mine unlisted?
15
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06-02-2010 14:12 by
Joser
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I'm a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity...
64
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06-26-2010 14:25 by
Joser
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Switched my GPS to the male voice. Got tired of it announcing turns after we'd passed them and telling me to stop and ask for directions.
54
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06-25-2010 19:09 by
Joser
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Dear gigantic flock of birds chirping loudly in the parking lot sh*ting all over my car, There's still more north left... Go annoy Canada...
49
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05-11-2010 17:16 by
Joser
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1
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Why are they called "Starving Artists" instead of "Untalented Hippies"?
39
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06-14-2010 19:11 by
Joser
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I just watch a naked Chinese man run into a wall at full speed with a hard on. He broke his nose.
112
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06-11-2010 17:37 by
Joser
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4
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30 minutes? I want to hear that from the pizza. Put the pizza on the phone!
34
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04-23-2010 13:28 by
Joser
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1
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Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
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05-04-2010 17:49 by
Joser
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1
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Saying irregardless makes you sound irridiculous.
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06-23-2010 18:19 by
Joser
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I know I looked like a complete idiot on that wedding video but the camera adds 10 drinks.
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05-05-2010 12:09 by
Joser
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What do Edward Cullen and a Christmas tree have in common? Their tiny balls sparkle.
48
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07-01-2010 22:51 by
Joser
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OH NO! I'm sorry. I thought it was lime that heals all wounds. That must really sting.
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07-13-2010 18:12 by
Joser
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2
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want to know if sex toy manufacturers have product testers?
24
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04-19-2010 18:20 by
Joser
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1
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People's cellphone ringtones say a lot about them. Usually they say, "I'm mystified by this phone settings."
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04-28-2010 18:12 by
Joser
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The truth is, when I start a statement with "the truth is" I'm usually lying my @ss off
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05-01-2010 14:29 by
Joser
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I'm proud of the fact that 87% of my day is just me making faces at my coworker while his back is turned.
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07-01-2010 22:50 by
Joser
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Reminder, fellas: bra cups come in sizes AA, A, B, C, D, DD, OMG, WTF.
67
14
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06-16-2010 17:58 by
Joser
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0
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wants you to read this status... Keep reading it... There, now I have full control over your mind. Now bring me a beer!
43
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04-27-2010 19:33 by
Joser
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Dear BP, None of this would've happened if you had hired the best deep core drilling team -- Bruce Willis, Owen Wilson, Ben Affleck, and the big black guy from Green Mile.
43
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06-01-2010 13:21 by
Joser
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0
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Match.com says it's responsible for more dates leading to marriages that any other online site. And yet, it has no warning label.
43
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06-02-2010 14:04 by
Joser
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0
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