Joser Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Joser': View All Messages
Page: 10 of 41

   messageicon I'd still choose rock over paper in a real fight.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Customs: "Do you have anything to declare?" Me: "I declare a thumb war?" Customs: "Security!" Me: "I mean rum! Lots and lots of rum!"
←Rate | 06-29-2010 22:39 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm thinking of a number between one and who gives a sh*t
←Rate | 06-29-2010 22:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon First, Alaska brought us Sarah Palin. Now, "smoked salmon flavored vodka." Can we get a restraining order against them?
←Rate | 06-29-2010 22:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get blamed for everything. Looks like I have no choice but to run for president.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 19:47 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon people will believe anything if you whisper it.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 18:08 by joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wipe your mouth. There's still a tiny bit of bullsh*t around your lips.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 17:59 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me know if anyone's hiring right now... I specialize in destroying alarm clocks and petting kittens.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 17:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing makes me feel more American than the fact that my button has just popped off of my pants.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 17:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Deleting your Facebook account is a quick way to find out what people will say at your funeral.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 17:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men: if your woman makes you sleep on the couch, use the cushions to build an awesome fort and then hang a "no girls allowed" sign.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing I hate more than people who make fun of other people is people who don't laugh when I do it.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walmart smells like ugly
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't trust people who don't have middle names...
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the store didn't want me to flop naked into the frozen foods, it shouldn't have put them so close to the front door on a 90° day.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a chance to listen to my voicemails. I was pretty popular in 2009.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm getting bored with gravity. Time for an update with new features, universe!
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon She said: "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." What she meant: "I'm holding out for an asshole who's emotionally unavailable."
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:17 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tip: if you're going to call out sick, make sure your co-workers aren't your FB friends and can see the pics you posted drunk last night
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:16 by Joser Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left