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Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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For once I’d like to get kicked INTO a bar
105
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11-22-2017 02:45 by
Kisstopher707
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I'm at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I'm usually fine with going home.
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04-08-2018 13:55 by
Kisstopher707
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I like being invited to things, it’s the showing up that bothers me.
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12-23-2018 15:17 by
Kisstopher707
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This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I'm not your boyfriend.
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05-31-2013 05:12 by
Kisstopher707
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You can't tell me what to do; you're not my demons.
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09-18-2017 01:36 by
Kisstopher707
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In my time, real men did not smoke cigarettes with batteries.
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05-17-2018 12:17 by
Kisstopher707
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You would think I am a fugitive on the run the way I react when there is a knock on my door.
31
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06-17-2018 07:26 by
Kisstopher707
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well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
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10-18-2018 11:42 by
Kisstopher707
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Babies are participation trophies for men.
23
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08-05-2017 11:25 by
Kisstopher707
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Javascript is when your doctor writes you a prescription for more coffee. Everyone knows that.
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11-22-2018 07:46 by
Kisstopher707
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Crickets are really loud for something that gets eaten by everything
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09-20-2018 12:42 by
Kisstopher707
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As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me
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08-16-2017 14:14 by
Kisstopher707
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That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month.
15
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05-06-2017 10:15 by
Kisstopher707
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"did I catch you at a bad time?" "yeah, I'm awake and sober"
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12-09-2018 09:32 by
Kisstopher707
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Even looking at LinkedIn's logo can result in an unsolicited email.
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12-05-2017 06:19 by
Kisstopher707
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My son screamed like a little girl when he saw a spider so no paternity test was needed.
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06-28-2018 05:19 by
Kisstopher707
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Ever hate someone so much you decide to start eating healthy just so you can watch them die first?
28
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12-02-2018 12:24 by
Kisstopher707
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It’s hard to stay humble when someone’s dog chooses you over them.
27
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12-04-2018 14:01 by
Kisstopher707
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A Facebook stranger doesn’t like my opinion. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time. 😂
27
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12-07-2018 22:51 by
Kisstopher707
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At my age, I still do dumb stuff, but only slower.
27
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03-01-2019 12:48 by
Kisstopher707
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