Zinc Funny Status Messages

   it true atheist children lie down and make snow corpses

   Advice for those people who want to discuss politics tomorrow at the dinner table... Just don't

   My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1985.

   If you like christmas so much why don’t you merry it

   Any tree can be a Christmas tree if you yell at your family around it.

   Have yourself a merry little christmas sounds pretty condescending - Jennifer Lopez

   I overheard that ABC is not cancelling Roseanne but is seamlessly going to replace Roseanne with Danny Devito

   Do jews celebrate labor day or do they gotta be different like usual

   After today there will be two kinds of people in this world: people who saw the eclipse, and people I want to talk to at parties @cbquist

   What is the big deal about Cinco De Mayo. I've been drinking my ass off Everydayo of Mayo.

   Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall.

   This Cinco de Mayo, let's party like Mexican rock stars if they existed.

   I'm going to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by puking tequila and gorditas on the side of a Taco Bell. i

   It’s May 4 soon, the one day of the year when Star Wars fans celebrate being able to use quite possibly the best pun in the world: “May the Fourth be with you”.

   Some people say marijuana makes you dumb, but I smoke all the time and my IQ is 420.

   You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed and that is pretty close.

   There have been only two authentic geniuses in the world, Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare. — Tallulah Bankhead

   There’s no such thing as a non-terrifying Easter bunny costume.

   One time in 6th grade me and my friend got to an Easter egg hunt early and switched all the candy in the eggs with mustard and ketchup.

   Oh good YouPorn put up all their Easter themed porn.