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Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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Stevie Wonder's housekeepers probably don't do a damn thing all day long.
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05-24-2013 12:49 by
Kisstopher707
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Maybe if you tried educating yourself as much as you try getting those abs people will like you more.
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05-24-2013 12:52 by
Kisstopher707
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Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
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05-25-2013 12:20 by
Kisstopher707
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It's totally ok to create a Facebook account for your pet, provided you have severe mental retardation.
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05-27-2013 12:48 by
Kisstopher707
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You say pervert with a telescope. I say biological astronomer.
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05-27-2013 12:59 by
Kisstopher707
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You women are beautiful creatures I love you all , but by god you scare the sh*t out of me with the way you feed on souls and happiness.
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05-27-2013 13:55 by
Kisstopher707
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I really dont understand why I’m still a virgin when I have never watched any Twilight Movie or bought any Justin Bieber Album in my whole life.
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05-29-2013 15:09 by
Kisstopher707
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If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
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05-30-2013 13:40 by
Kisstopher707
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My idea of the perfect workout is not working out.
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05-31-2013 05:07 by
Kisstopher707
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This relationship is going to be weird if you keep pretending I'm not your boyfriend.
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05-31-2013 05:12 by
Kisstopher707
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Fact: You're not a true vegan unless you tell 10 people every day
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05-31-2013 08:12 by
Kisstopher707
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All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don't subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
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05-31-2013 08:15 by
Kisstopher707
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A bottle of wine and I still have feelings. Time for whiskey.
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05-31-2013 09:00 by
Kisstopher707
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"No, officer, I wasn't driving with my eyes closed. I'm part-Chinese."
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05-31-2013 09:18 by
Kisstopher707
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One of the worst things that can happen to you is closing a tab by mistake and you don't know which website was it on.
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05-31-2013 13:44 by
Kisstopher707
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Pants are for people with something to hide.
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06-02-2013 13:07 by
Kisstopher707
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Thanks, Michael Douglas, for ruining the ONLY time I'm not worrying about cancer.
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06-03-2013 05:59 by
Kisstopher707
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Office crime is real people! I was just held up at PowerPoint.
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06-03-2013 14:55 by
Kisstopher707
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Cigarettes take 50 years to kill you. I'm more worried about the stuff that does it quickly like sharks, lightning, women or flamethrowers.
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06-04-2013 01:13 by
Kisstopher707
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0
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Now I totally understand why Peter Pan didn't want to grow up!
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06-04-2013 01:29 by
Kisstopher707
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