otis Funny Status Messages

   Wondering, what are the aliens on the dark side of the moon doing? Seeing the sun for the first time?

   Why didn’t we use the Seattle Space Needle to take down the Chinese balloon?

   My wife asked me the other day if I had seen the dog bowl. I replied, I didn’t know he did that.

   I told my wife she has to embrace her mistakes. So she hugged me.

   When tyranny becomes law rebellion becomes duty

   Deep thoughts by Johnny Quarantine. Minnesota votes to disband police department and go with a community-based public safety program. I’m assuming this community-based public safety program will be comprised of police officers who recently lost their jo

   Home quarantine going great so far but not sure what day it is or what hour it is and I’m not really sure where I parked.

   I want to start a Go Fund Me account to sponsor any Coronavirus infectious people to pay them to go hug a politician

   I do not want to get the Coronavirus that’s why I switched to Modelo

   I know I’m getting old when playing the stock market is more fun than playing a video game

   On this Thanksgiving I am thankful to all of your post that make me look funny on Facebook.

   Uh, rah rah baseball people. Football season's begun. More You can stop now. Thanks.

   I prefer my kale with a silent "K"

   Dr says my cholesterol count is so high that... I can't even say "cheese" when I get my picture taken.

   The Packers did a discount double choke on Sunday

   going to opt for GPS on our next dryer. Should help locate those missing socks.

   When I got the decorations out of the attic yesterday REAL spiders started coming out of the containers.... Well played Halloween, well played.

   Arizona Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer was arrested Wednesday for domestic violence, according to reports. Let's see, we have Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice and now this idiot accused of domestic violence. Is this a running back thing?

   they found the body of the guy who stole all the celebrity's nude photos. Apparently he has been high fived to death.

   I won't be impressed with technology until I can download beer.