Tracy Funny Status Messages

   People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you're married...that's a job!!

   No one in my office is hitting on me. Seems like it's high time I shave my mustache.

   Best episode of CSI ever, If only I have the power to turn things into reality... Justin Bieber would be dead for good!

   gonna rock your WALL!

   bored with Sunday. You should go away and ask your friend Saturday to come back.

   The jungle is only fun when you are on top of the food chain

   My invisible make believe deity can beat up your invisible make believe deity

   How did the blond get lipstick on her steering wheel? She tried to blow the horn.

   I say we should build a Multi-religion facility to appease all religions near the 9/11 site.

   venting on his Myspace that he cant get on his facebook...

   Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room there?

   I dont care who you are, childhood obesity is hilarious... well, unless you are the child in question...

   David Hasselhoff's liver is soo shriveled, black and dead, if you put your ear to the side of it, you can hear it going: ‘What you talkin' about Willis?"

   I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

   I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

   Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do. And if you piss him off, you go to a place full of fire and burning and torture and anguish. But he loves you. He loves you, and he needs money.

   The Flying Spaghetti Book: Garlic 3:16, And the Flying Spaghetti Monster so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son and that who so ever should believe in him should not perish but have everlasting pasta, rAmen.

   its official, I'm old. I sat down to use the bathroom this morning and teabaged the toilet water!!

   Sorry, constantly quoting random bible scriptures isnt going to convince me. I could quote one the Twilight books and be just as profound. Twilight Eclipse, Chapter one verse three, "The."

   I propose that Jesus must have been a Zombie. Lets look at the facts: He came back from the dead, He wants you drink his blood and also eat his flesh so that you have ever lasting life. Or maybe... a vampire-zombie? Hmm... futher study is needed.