Psycho Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon No, I don't want to hold your baby. It looks sticky.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 00:30 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 00:22 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like a little chloroform and some duct tape to hold a relationship together.
←Rate | 11-04-2017 00:23 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you make eye contact with yourself while brushing your teeth in the mirror you have to swallow.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 01:30 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon HER: Will you miss me? ME: Only if you run in a zig-zag pattern
←Rate | 10-30-2017 02:50 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon When there's a new woman at the house, and the dog doesn't stick his nose in her crotch, then I pass too.
←Rate | 10-27-2017 15:08 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how long it took for the Playmates to realize that Hugh's Viagra had worn off and rigor mortis had set in...
←Rate | 09-28-2017 15:12 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Florida is going to be covered in stripper glitter and cocaine pretty soon.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 00:11 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know :Relationship Without Sex Helps you Focus on the Most Important things in a relationship like Cheating
←Rate | 08-20-2017 07:11 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm always the first one to say "I love you" in a gangbang.
←Rate | 08-11-2017 00:49 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I believe it is important to be an organ donor, which is why I am willing to donate my second chin to anyone missing a chin.
←Rate | 08-06-2017 13:50 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could probably be on time if it wasn't for red lights...and masturbation.
←Rate | 06-21-2017 15:34 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your small talk is beginning to make my eye twitch.
←Rate | 06-05-2017 02:53 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I'm watching porn and my mom walks in. what is my mom doing in this p0rn?
←Rate | 06-01-2017 02:52 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't make you love me, but I can hold your head underwater until you stop breathing.
←Rate | 05-13-2017 11:57 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'll feel much better once I beat someone to death.
←Rate | 08-22-2016 04:59 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon No offense but I wanna set you on fire.
←Rate | 08-11-2016 03:30 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink.
←Rate | 07-25-2016 06:51 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a deteriorative scale, my liver is somewhere between Ozzy Osbourne and Charlie Sheen.
←Rate | 07-19-2016 01:16 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard Oscar Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door but his girlfriend was dead against it.
←Rate | 06-16-2016 08:12 by Psycho Comments (0)  


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