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Psycho Funny Status Messages
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Of course you can use bacon grease as furniture polish. *licks coffee table*
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11-21-2017 00:11 by
psycho
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No, I don't want to hold your baby. It looks sticky.
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11-10-2017 00:30 by
psycho
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I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
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11-10-2017 00:22 by
psycho
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Nothing like a little chloroform and some duct tape to hold a relationship together.
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11-04-2017 00:23 by
psycho
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If you make eye contact with yourself while brushing your teeth in the mirror you have to swallow.
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11-02-2017 01:30 by
psycho
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HER: Will you miss me? ME: Only if you run in a zig-zag pattern
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10-30-2017 02:50 by
psycho
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When there's a new woman at the house, and the dog doesn't stick his nose in her crotch, then I pass too.
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10-27-2017 15:08 by
psycho
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I wonder how long it took for the Playmates to realize that Hugh's Viagra had worn off and rigor mortis had set in...
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09-28-2017 15:12 by
psycho
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Florida is going to be covered in stripper glitter and cocaine pretty soon.
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09-08-2017 00:11 by
psycho
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Did you know :Relationship Without Sex Helps you Focus on the Most Important things in a relationship like Cheating
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08-20-2017 07:11 by
psycho
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I'm always the first one to say "I love you" in a gangbang.
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08-11-2017 00:49 by
psycho
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I believe it is important to be an organ donor, which is why I am willing to donate my second chin to anyone missing a chin.
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08-06-2017 13:50 by
psycho
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Your small talk is beginning to make my eye twitch.
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06-05-2017 02:53 by
psycho
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I hate when I'm watching porn and my mom walks in. what is my mom doing in this p0rn?
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06-01-2017 02:52 by
psycho
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I can't make you love me, but I can hold your head underwater until you stop breathing.
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05-13-2017 11:57 by
psycho
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I think I'll feel much better once I beat someone to death.
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08-22-2016 04:59 by
Psycho
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No offense but I wanna set you on fire.
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08-11-2016 03:30 by
Psycho
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Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink.
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07-25-2016 06:51 by
Psycho
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On a deteriorative scale, my liver is somewhere between Ozzy Osbourne and Charlie Sheen.
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07-19-2016 01:16 by
Psycho
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I heard Oscar Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door but his girlfriend was dead against it.
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06-16-2016 08:12 by
Psycho
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