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   messageicon Actually I don't think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 11:09 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the great things about having kids is that you can check your pulse using the veins on the side of your head
←Rate | 04-10-2018 15:21 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got a gig as lead singer for my car.
←Rate | 03-24-2018 09:14 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are surprised that Facebook may be selling your data then you are the reason hairdryers come with the warning, "Do not use in shower"
←Rate | 03-21-2018 10:10 by markf Comments (3)  


   messageicon I wonder if Batman ever looks up in the night sky at the Bat Signal and says, I told him to just text me.
←Rate | 03-10-2018 09:50 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon The grocery store in my neighborhood needs to repaint the parking lot near the door to show where the "Just Lazy" parking is.
←Rate | 03-03-2018 08:48 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon The last scene in Titanic with Jack and Rose wasted so many opportunities for a good knock-knock joke
←Rate | 02-26-2018 14:10 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon I think the best way to fight insomnia is redecorate my bedroom to look like Ms. Stewart's 10th grade math class
←Rate | 02-23-2018 15:53 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon If David Letterman moves to Canada, does he have to change his last name?
←Rate | 02-07-2018 09:06 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon Last night my refrigerator opened my bedroom door, walked in and stood there and stared at me for a few minuntes, then left and closed the door
←Rate | 01-28-2018 21:00 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my dog needs training school because he rudely yawned in the middle of my stories.
←Rate | 01-28-2018 20:03 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
←Rate | 01-24-2018 16:05 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that the government has re-opened I guess I have to stop removing these mattress tags
←Rate | 01-23-2018 15:07 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, your smart devices can talk to each other now and they are giggling about you behind your back.
←Rate | 01-20-2018 20:25 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got an idea for a house flipping show but it's just me watching my kids demolish every room
←Rate | 01-18-2018 21:37 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe they could add a little pop-up saying "Are you sure? This action cannot be undone" before sending an important message like NUCLEAR MISSILE ALERT YOU ARE ABOUT TO DIE
←Rate | 01-16-2018 20:43 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people were confused at the grand opening ceremony of our ribbon-repair business
←Rate | 01-09-2018 20:57 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do dragons blow out candles on their birthday cake?
←Rate | 01-09-2018 17:58 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Lindsay Lohan bitten by snake while on vacation in Thailand" I can't get my head around how a snake can be that organized
←Rate | 01-02-2018 20:06 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am waiting for the Fitbit upgrade that lets me buy 5000 extra steps
←Rate | 12-22-2017 17:57 by markf Comments (0)  


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