Eddy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon someone needs to make a cereal that's in the shape of little cows...when you add the milk, you're milking the cows
←Rate | 06-09-2019 08:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon i dropped a dollar on the floor & my nephew ate it. a few hours later he pooped it out. idk why he did it...it didn't make cents
←Rate | 06-07-2019 02:01 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you have to use a snapchat filter for over half of your Facebook pictures, you know you're ugly
←Rate | 05-19-2019 16:32 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon spoiler alert...tonight HBO dies
←Rate | 05-19-2019 12:53 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a meeting with Zuckerberg cause I don't get enough "likes"
←Rate | 04-25-2019 18:44 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon transparent- noun, when your child is transgender, you are their transparent
←Rate | 04-24-2019 17:43 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a friend who can tap dance backwards. His name is Pat
←Rate | 04-18-2019 17:02 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon insider trading tip...tomorrow's Energizer & Duracell stocks go down some
←Rate | 02-14-2019 23:40 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon happy vALONEtine's day to the single people
←Rate | 02-14-2019 10:22 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon some days you're the statue, some days you're the pigeon
←Rate | 02-01-2019 11:49 by Eddy Comments (1)  


   messageicon someone from Egypt sent me an e-mail asking me to wire them money. I think it was a pyramid scheme
←Rate | 01-29-2019 19:23 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming
←Rate | 01-28-2019 08:04 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still don't know why Microsoft put a talking paper clip in Microsoft Office instead of a talking ink pen they could call your "pen pal"
←Rate | 01-11-2019 14:37 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon my New Year's resolution is to exercise (my right to be lazy)
←Rate | 12-26-2018 19:23 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon asked Alexa "why is my wife such a b!@#$" & Alexa replied "id rather not answer" ...these computers really are smart
←Rate | 12-20-2018 00:08 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I get addicted to eating cold turkey, idk how i'm going to quit
←Rate | 11-23-2018 00:24 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon the dentist says I need a crown. I'm like "I know, right? "
←Rate | 11-09-2018 04:27 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon before you know it, Amazon workers will be making Prime money
←Rate | 10-02-2018 20:18 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon look on the bright side...Bill Cosby is gonna get a lot of Jell-o
←Rate | 09-26-2018 08:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have any Emmys but I Have 2 Grammys ....they're both dead
←Rate | 09-18-2018 07:49 by Eddy Comments (0)  


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