DJJackson Funny Status Messages

   Tiger Kings, Joe Exotic will never sing Christmas songs cause he hates carols.

   Took my car into the mechanic. It was making a horrible high-pitched squeal. He said it was coming from the the Mariah Carey Christmas CD.

   Jesus walks into a bar: Orders 12 waters... Winks at disciples....

   Why do ballerinas always stand on their toes? They should hire taller ballerinas...

   I found a 129.00 Kylie Minogue concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it. You never know when you might need a nail.

   Anyone know how to get a club soda stain out?

   The season is upon us and I personally enjoy a nice port wine for dessert. However sometimes a starboard wine is the right choice.

   Neutering our dog was the best thing we ever did. Made him less nuts.

   My wife said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I just don't get women.

   Oh come on this is ridiculous! It’s July 8th and people are still setting fireworks off. One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.

   When 50 cent got hungry... 58

   From Cairo, Egypt: The government has instructed all city cab drivers to sound their horns while driving through the city. It's hoped that a return of familiar city sounds will help restore calm due to Corona. Operation Toot N Calm Em will last a week.

   From Cairo, Egypt: The government has instructed all city cab drivers to sound their horns while driving through the city. It's hoped that a return of familiar city sounds will help restore calm due to the pandemic. Operation Toot N Calm Em will last abou

   I asked the waitress if I could ask her a question about the menu, please. She said the men I please is none of your business.

   Gee I sure hope the rioters in DC don’t do anything to the IRS building at 1111 Constitution Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20224.

   My paperless origami business folded.

   The wife asked me to sell my Hall and Oates collection. I said I can’t go for that, no can do.

   Doctor Cathy told me I was really sweet. Well, she actually said I am severely diabetic but I knew what she meant.

   I'm pretending. That way, when it comes time to tend, I'll be ready.

   This week's weather forcast...Monday: Room Temperature Tuesday: Room Temperature Wednesday: Room Temperature Thursday: Room Temperature Friday: Room Temperature