BOO Funny Status Messages

   Today I'm wearing my new underwear, On the front it reads "I would do anything for love" and the back says "But I wont do that"...

   If your phone gets wet, try putting it in rice over night. This will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.

   Its so cold out, I actually saw a gangsta with his pants UP!

   "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”

   The OJ trial started the Kardashian tradition of getting black guys off

   The awkard moment when your names is also Casey Anthony, and you log into facebook just to find that all of your frineds want you to burn in hell..

   This just in... OJ Found not quilty... Oh wait...

   Flash forward to July 5, 2024 headlines..... 13 years to the day of being found not guilty of the murder of her daughter...Casey Anythony breaks into a Las Vegas hotel, guns drawn to steal back old pictures of when she was a professional club rat! (See OJ

   I got gas today for $2.45 to bad it was from taco bell

   Can you believe that people are actually paying Atheists $150 to take care of their pets after the Rapture???!!! I'm just mad because I paid more than that for them to harvest my crops on Farmville.... :(

   Lovin my early Christmas present of a Massage Chair! Work never felt so good!.. Now if someone would just invent a vibrating tampon I could start lovin my periods too!

   Did anyone else see Gary Busey get married this morning?

   Never trust a man that comes out of a bathroom with dry hands...

   You know you need to go grocery shopping when your grapes start tasting like wine

   oly crap! I just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of tag in 1987.

   What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a BJ.

   Dear Fox News, So far no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed

   Dear windshield wipers,...You cant touch this.....Sincerely, The triangle

   The awkward moment when one of your friends has the same facebook status as you...Damn this page.. they are onto me!

   Michael Jacksons twin sister died... R.I.P Elizabeth Taylor...