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Imagine surviving Covid19 then China releases Covid19S Plus Pro
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04-07-2020 19:53 by
BEGO
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Remember laughing at Michael Jackson wearing mask and gloves. Now you all out here looking like you wanna be starting something.
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03-25-2020 21:13 by
BEGO
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Just saw my auto insurance agent use a calculator to calculate 2017-2013 to show me it's been 4 years......... time for a new insurance company. đ
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10-17-2017 23:39 by
BEGO
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See what happens when you name a hurricane after a man! He won't ask directions, wanders around lost, leaves a mess and doesn't clean up after himself!
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08-31-2017 21:29 by
BEGO
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Hey UNITED, my ex is flying from Atlanta to San Antonio, flight 2145 row 12, seat D. Do your thing
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04-12-2017 22:49 by
BEGO
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All voicemails from my Dad start with "HELLO! HELLO!" and end with him trying to dial another number.
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04-02-2017 21:58 by
BEGO
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Most girls will spend Valentine's day alone because their boyfriends will be with their wives
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02-14-2017 13:39 by
BEGO
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"When we went to Mexico, he didn't even bring up the "wall" he choked!" -Hillary
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10-19-2016 21:32 by
BEGO
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A snake can shed its skin, but it will always be a snake. Remember that before allowing people back into your life.
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08-08-2016 22:27 by
BEGO
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Remember fellas, no matter how good or so hot she looks, and yet she's single it most likely means someone got tired of putting up with her B.S.
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08-06-2016 23:27 by
BEGO
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If your refund is more than you paid in taxes. You aren't getting YOUR TAXES back. You're getting MY TAXES back.
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02-10-2016 22:10 by
BEGO
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Nothing says âfriend zoneâ quite like a woman saying âyouâre like a brother to me.â Unless youâre from Alabama.
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12-24-2015 00:02 by
BEGO
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My gf wonât get the remote thatâs in the other room, but if my wallet was at the bottom of an ocean sheâd be shopping already.
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12-23-2015 23:51 by
BEGO
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When I think of all the money Iâve spent on booze in my life, I wish I had it all back. Imagine all the booze I could buy!
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12-23-2015 23:47 by
BEGO
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If I could have a superpower, it would be the ability to watch people work out and absorb the benefits for myself.
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12-23-2015 23:45 by
BEGO
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Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think âlook at all these poor people who donât know Netflix exists.â
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12-23-2015 23:45 by
BEGO
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Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth ⌠and drink all the vodka inside ⌠It seems to help
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10-16-2015 22:06 by
BEGO
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Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
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10-16-2015 22:06 by
BEGO
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Crying doesnt indicate that youre weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that youre alive.
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09-22-2015 22:36 by
BEGO
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The Big Mac doesnât look anything like the ones in the ads⌠Same goes with people and Facebook profile pics.
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09-22-2015 22:35 by
BEGO
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