lemonpillow Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
←Rate | 06-28-2009 03:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls are like horoscopes,,they always tells us what to do and they are always wrong !!!
←Rate | 06-28-2009 03:43 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon that if SHE ruled the world, the first thing she would do is get rid of those annoying adverts that sing about it!
←Rate | 07-14-2009 14:20 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..wonders what life was like before Facebook. Oh yeah. MySpace.
←Rate | 07-14-2009 14:29 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon unless your my thong, don't be up my arse!
←Rate | 07-15-2009 14:16 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
←Rate | 07-20-2009 15:12 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon friends are quiet angels that lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
←Rate | 07-20-2009 15:12 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
←Rate | 07-20-2009 15:15 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standard
←Rate | 07-20-2009 15:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon just wants your extra time and your...kiss!
←Rate | 07-26-2009 08:58 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering what the weather's like in India. I think i'll call my bank.
←Rate | 08-05-2009 15:48 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.14159265 dead.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 15:35 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 15:39 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
←Rate | 08-25-2009 14:53 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My hamster died today He fell asleep at the wheel.
←Rate | 09-01-2009 17:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:36 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:38 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her over.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:39 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many of the Lost cast does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it will take 20 episodes.
←Rate | 09-02-2009 14:44 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; "F*ck off, you won't bring it back."
←Rate | 09-05-2009 05:23 by lemonpillow | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


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