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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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06-28-2009 03:37 by
lemonpillow
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Girls are like horoscopes,,they always tells us what to do and they are always wrong !!!
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06-28-2009 03:43 by
lemonpillow
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that if SHE ruled the world, the first thing she would do is get rid of those annoying adverts that sing about it!
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07-14-2009 14:20 by
lemonpillow
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..wonders what life was like before Facebook. Oh yeah. MySpace.
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07-14-2009 14:29 by
lemonpillow
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unless your my thong, don't be up my arse!
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07-15-2009 14:16 by
lemonpillow
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A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
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07-20-2009 15:12 by
lemonpillow
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friends are quiet angels that lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
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07-20-2009 15:12 by
lemonpillow
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If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
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07-20-2009 15:15 by
lemonpillow
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I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standard
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07-20-2009 15:16 by
lemonpillow
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just wants your extra time and your...kiss!
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07-26-2009 08:58 by
lemonpillow
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wondering what the weather's like in India. I think i'll call my bank.
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08-05-2009 15:48 by
lemonpillow
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Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.14159265 dead.
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08-24-2009 15:35 by
lemonpillow
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I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.
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08-24-2009 15:39 by
lemonpillow
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reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
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08-25-2009 14:53 by
lemonpillow
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My hamster died today He fell asleep at the wheel.
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09-01-2009 17:55 by
lemonpillow
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Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
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09-02-2009 14:36 by
lemonpillow
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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.
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09-02-2009 14:38 by
lemonpillow
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I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her over.
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09-02-2009 14:39 by
lemonpillow
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How many of the Lost cast does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it will take 20 episodes.
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09-02-2009 14:44 by
lemonpillow
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says; "F*ck off, you won't bring it back."
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09-05-2009 05:23 by
lemonpillow
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