joseph robert Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Since this is an "S" storm, I think they should have named it Hurricane Snookie since it will be slamming and blowing the entire Jersey Shore
←Rate | 10-29-2012 18:14 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
←Rate | 09-07-2011 12:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think there are more pictures of cats in my news feed than people
←Rate | 07-02-2012 13:27 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The rhinoceros is just a fat, lazy unicorn
←Rate | 11-30-2012 18:25 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon People with full heads of hair that complain about grey hairs make me sick. It's like complaining that your Lamborghini gets terrible gas mileage.
←Rate | 08-04-2012 12:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coming home from work today, I just saw a guy sitting in a rowbaot in his front yard in the rain with a case of budligtht. Even though I've never met him, I'm convinced that he's good people
←Rate | 07-26-2011 14:27 by Joseph Robert Comments (1)  


   messageicon If anyone ever tells me I put too much parmesan cheese on my pasta, I stop talking to them, b/c I don't need that kind of negativity in my life
←Rate | 04-23-2013 16:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon If today drags anymore, it's going to come out of the closet in a sexy little dress
←Rate | 07-30-2013 11:08 by joseph robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles
←Rate | 09-23-2011 08:02 by Joseph Robert Comments (1)  


   messageicon Everyone has awesome boobs in their bitstrip
←Rate | 10-25-2013 07:37 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale of 1-10 I give this day a middle finger
←Rate | 09-23-2011 12:53 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone else remember the day when you found out your parents had other names besides mom and dad? How crazy was that?!
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:15 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only candy I'm interested in tonight swings from a pole and has daddy issues
←Rate | 10-28-2011 13:38 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women need to learn how to use Snapchat. It's only for sexting, I don't want to see pictures of your feet or your new perm
←Rate | 05-15-2014 13:36 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon This cup is so good, I now know why coffee got it's own table in the living room
←Rate | 03-12-2013 11:12 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
←Rate | 09-26-2013 11:01 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now he really IS the artist formally known as Prince
←Rate | 04-21-2016 17:54 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I just want to slap the stupid out of people, but I'm worried it'd take up my entire day
←Rate | 07-23-2012 11:49 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im surprised kids haven't found a way to trick or treat online yet
←Rate | 10-31-2013 15:07 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait until all these 100 days of happiness people get to day 69. Maybe then my news feed will finally be interesting
←Rate | 05-27-2014 10:30 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  



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