badd status Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wish I had a theme song whenever I did something awesome.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:50 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really hope that my last words in this world are: "I wonder what this does..."
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:26 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chances are if you're using a pay phone, sh*t's not going well.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 18:40 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon whoever decides when breakfast is over at McDonald's, F*CK YOU.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:43 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided that I will be a team player when I get paid like a pro athlete.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:48 by badd status Comments (1)  


   messageicon I sure am glad they give me a lead vest when they're giving me x-rays at the dentist. It gives the impression those rays must be dangerous. I'd hate to have something bad happen to my chest while I'm having dangerous x-rays shot into my head.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 15:45 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to be a leader with a large following, just obey the speed limit on a winding, two-lane road.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:46 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 21:21 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have been checking facebook less and less. If this continues, I'll eventually forget about all those people for the 2nd time.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:45 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Logging off Facebook is like trying to get away from the bar. It's always, "I'll just have one more..."
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:40 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:19 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of tagging me in ugly pictures on Facebook, I wish you could just say "I hate you" straight to my face.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:53 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know it's my kind of bar when the bathroom door has a sign that says: "No couples. One at a time."
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:24 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon They have tracking on Facebook so your family and friends know where you are? If I wanted them to know where I was I would answer my phone.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:39 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love piecing my night together one drunk text at a time.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:51 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook has been down for 2 hours. The apocalypse has begun.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 16:56 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in the day, pirates used to raid armed ships, fight off trained swordsman for their gold, and survive on deserted islands with no other means of support. Now they sit in a chair and download movies. How far they have fallen?
←Rate | 09-24-2010 16:42 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon WANTED: Hoarder to come and gather up all my random sh%t and drag it back to their hoarding lair.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 04:41 by badd status Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm old enough to know what's bad for me and young enough to do it.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:36 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the face you make pre-sneeze is the same as when you orgasm.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 17:03 by badd status Comments (0)  


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