Tommy Chevelle Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Women just sit there and let it finish dripping, where as Men will shake it till it's all out....that's what I've noticed at the GAS pumps.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 16:45 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon the deputy in the van did NOT think it was funny when I pulled along side the striped uniform worker and yelled "QUICK, GET IN!"
←Rate | 01-28-2011 00:19 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I was a little kid, we didn't have cool video games to occupy us for hours... if I had a ROCK and a roll of CAPS...It was a Good Day!
←Rate | 02-09-2011 12:26 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon when the Neilson Ratings called me to survey what I watch on TV... I let them know what shows are stupid and pointless....Unfortunately, they are still airing JERSEY SHORE!
←Rate | 09-09-2010 22:38 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ladies, regardless of where you like it...just don't ask us to hold it.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 08:50 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (2)  


   messageicon with the way kids are so HYPER these days, I probably wouldn't have enough patience to be a Kindergarten Teacher...we'd have to play games like DUCT, DUCT, TAPE!
←Rate | 09-21-2010 08:40 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon How the hell do hundreds of male Smurfs live with only ONE female smurf? It's no wonder they're BLUE!
←Rate | 05-06-2013 10:41 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (1)  


   messageicon everyone was clapping for me when I got off the plane...I bet those military guys behind me were jealous.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 22:20 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon to AVOID any embarassing incidents...I've equipped my BEER GOGGLES with windshield wipers.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 23:35 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know you're getting OLD when your BRAND NEW car you drove in high school now qualifies for an ANTIQUE car tag.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 23:51 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gas diet: Get your paycheck... fill up your car and you have no money to buy food! Bam...you lose weight!
←Rate | 04-29-2011 15:20 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It's IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top!
←Rate | 01-31-2011 20:15 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (1)  


   messageicon says it's no wonder the Earth ALWAYS wins the Miss Universe Competition....No other planet has EVER entered the competition!
←Rate | 08-25-2010 01:05 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the latest News: Officials found a cell phone under Charles Manson's mattress...and you thought getting a text from Brett Favre was weird.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 14:58 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon my method of Resistance Training is just NOT working out!
←Rate | 01-28-2011 00:45 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
←Rate | 01-31-2013 15:26 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I got pulled over, the cop said he clocked me doing 75 mph in 55 mph zone. I asked "WHERE D'YA GET THAT APP?"
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:49 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon at my age it's not my cereal, but my body that goes SNAP, CRACKLE and POP!
←Rate | 02-01-2011 17:09 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should never judge a person by how clean the inside of their microwave is.
←Rate | 09-14-2014 11:45 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon A real man should never wave faster than he SAYS the word "hey"
←Rate | 10-15-2012 22:45 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


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