Tommy Chevelle Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon when I was a little kid, we didn't have cool video games to occupy us for hours... if I had a ROCK and a roll of CAPS...It was a Good Day!
←Rate | 02-09-2011 12:26 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women just sit there and let it finish dripping, where as Men will shake it till it's all out....that's what I've noticed at the GAS pumps.
←Rate | 12-08-2010 16:45 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon the deputy in the van did NOT think it was funny when I pulled along side the striped uniform worker and yelled "QUICK, GET IN!"
←Rate | 01-28-2011 00:19 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon when the Neilson Ratings called me to survey what I watch on TV... I let them know what shows are stupid and pointless....Unfortunately, they are still airing JERSEY SHORE!
←Rate | 09-09-2010 22:38 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon ladies, regardless of where you like it...just don't ask us to hold it.
←Rate | 10-07-2010 08:50 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (2)  


   messageicon with the way kids are so HYPER these days, I probably wouldn't have enough patience to be a Kindergarten Teacher...we'd have to play games like DUCT, DUCT, TAPE!
←Rate | 09-21-2010 08:40 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon How the hell do hundreds of male Smurfs live with only ONE female smurf? It's no wonder they're BLUE!
←Rate | 05-06-2013 10:41 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (1)  


   messageicon everyone was clapping for me when I got off the plane...I bet those military guys behind me were jealous.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 22:20 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon to AVOID any embarassing incidents...I've equipped my BEER GOGGLES with windshield wipers.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 23:35 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gas diet: Get your paycheck... fill up your car and you have no money to buy food! Bam...you lose weight!
←Rate | 04-29-2011 15:20 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon having sex is like doing FRACTIONS... It's IMPROPER for the larger one to be on top!
←Rate | 01-31-2011 20:15 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (1)  


   messageicon says it's no wonder the Earth ALWAYS wins the Miss Universe Competition....No other planet has EVER entered the competition!
←Rate | 08-25-2010 01:05 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the latest News: Officials found a cell phone under Charles Manson's mattress...and you thought getting a text from Brett Favre was weird.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 14:58 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon my method of Resistance Training is just NOT working out!
←Rate | 01-28-2011 00:45 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
←Rate | 01-31-2013 15:26 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know you're getting OLD when your BRAND NEW car you drove in high school now qualifies for an ANTIQUE car tag.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 23:51 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I got pulled over, the cop said he clocked me doing 75 mph in 55 mph zone. I asked "WHERE D'YA GET THAT APP?"
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:49 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should never judge a person by how clean the inside of their microwave is.
←Rate | 09-14-2014 11:45 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon at my age it's not my cereal, but my body that goes SNAP, CRACKLE and POP!
←Rate | 02-01-2011 17:09 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon A real man should never wave faster than he SAYS the word "hey"
←Rate | 10-15-2012 22:45 by Tommy Chevelle Comments (0)  



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