Lewis S. Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 01:29 by Lewis S. Comments (1)  


   messageicon Today's challenge! Walk with the parade and wave, and make people wonder who you are.
←Rate | 07-04-2013 11:05 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon The big movies right now in theaters are Robocop, Endless Love, and About Last Night. I feel like it's the end of the 80s all over again.
←Rate | 02-20-2014 17:56 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congratulations, you survived the Mayan Disaster. Please resume your life. Thank you.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 06:15 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when you wake upon mid-dream, and don't get to find out what happens next.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 05:30 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Football officially starts its regular Sunday rotation tomorrow. So ladies, if there's anything that you wanna say to your husband, today's the day!
←Rate | 09-08-2012 10:13 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is going to make Thanksgiving uncomfortable next year at the Harbaugh house.
←Rate | 01-20-2013 21:56 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't get the Bananas in Pajamas song out of my head, so I'm cursing you all with it
←Rate | 03-14-2012 09:09 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon CNN BREAKING NEWS. JURORS IN THE GEORGE ZIMMERMAN TRIAL HAVE ORDERED TUNAFISH SANDWICHES ON WHOLE WHEAT, AND SWEET TEA.
←Rate | 07-13-2013 12:09 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon So she told me "Strip down, facing me." How was I to know the cashier meant my credit card?
←Rate | 09-08-2012 10:35 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're addicted to Facebook, when you gauge how long you've napped by finding the last post you remember before falling asleep, and seeing how long it's been posted when you wake up.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 19:33 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe the pipelines are not the most perfect way to turn our country green, but I'm certainly not going to be able to afford those solar panels if I'm paying $4.95 a gallon.
←Rate | 09-11-2016 21:33 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon KISS announced that they will not be performing at this year's Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame ceremony. Oh well. Hopefully we'll get a killer performance from the other inductee Nirvana.
←Rate | 02-23-2014 18:00 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Gramma, It's not the Oompah Loompah show, it's Jersey Shore.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 15:02 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Because of Facebook, the only presidential candidate we'll be able to have in 2040 is someone too stupid to know how to use Facebook.
←Rate | 04-20-2012 12:49 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I hear Sam Elliott narrating a commercial, the only thing I hear my head is "Don't eat the big white mint"
←Rate | 07-09-2013 22:52 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon New drinking game! Have to drink every time Wolf Blitzer says "Votes"
←Rate | 11-06-2012 22:31 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since ios7, Everytime I unlock my phone, I see the Breaking Bad theme and have to do the BAow... Bow Bow Bow.. in my head.
←Rate | 09-28-2013 18:28 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching Lionel Ritchie, and Big and Rich are doing Brick House. I am not convinced country singers need to stick to country, and leave the R&B to people with rhythm!
←Rate | 04-13-2012 22:58 by Lewis S. Comments (0)  


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