Keyboard Smasher 5000 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon organizing a flash mob at my place, Thursday 3pm. Bring lawnmowers.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:13 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever go missing I want my picture on a 40 oz beer rather than a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:04 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A back-up plan means your plan sucks.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:33 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em to f*ck with you.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 19:09 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that you are never too old to talk into a fan to hear your robot voice.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:29 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I'll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 19:01 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they ever invent a sensor for behind-your-back eye-rolls, I am so screwed.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:17 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I whisper, "I'm on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 18:20 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
←Rate | 09-23-2011 18:14 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know my limits. I don't pay any attention to them, but I know them
←Rate | 08-23-2011 19:03 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady Gaga taught me its okay to be different. Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks.Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I loveMost importantly, Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week.
←Rate | 08-18-2011 10:27 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wears my glasses to the liquor store in an effort to appear responsible
←Rate | 08-19-2011 20:44 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 19:08 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Admit It, At least once in your Life, You Have Tried To Squeeze your eyes Shut and Shoot Lasers Out of them With Intense Concentration.
←Rate | 08-18-2011 10:08 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ■a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school's pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
←Rate | 09-30-2011 19:19 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
←Rate | 09-26-2011 16:35 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Friend blames my Immaturity for getting him arrested! I'm not Immature! Hehe, Don't Drop the Soap!
←Rate | 10-18-2011 17:58 by Keyboard Smasher 5000 Comments (0)  

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