Curmudgeon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I always mean what I say. Sometimes, I didn't mean to say it out loud.
←Rate | 06-24-2012 19:50 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would much rather answer silly questions than try to fix stupid mistakes.
←Rate | 09-17-2012 13:41 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who are on drugs don't worry me nearly as much as the people who should be.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 23:57 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man with athletic tongue make broad jump.
←Rate | 09-12-2012 01:28 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are like convertibles. They're a lot more fun when the top's down.
←Rate | 06-19-2012 20:29 by curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no relationship I treasure more than my bond with my recliner. We go waaaayyy back!
←Rate | 05-29-2012 21:04 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wives want a video record of the birth of their child. Husbands want a record of the conception.
←Rate | 07-02-2012 10:41 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tears are the hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine “want” power.
←Rate | 06-20-2012 21:12 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women want a man who can read them like a book, so long as he is proficient in braille.
←Rate | 07-01-2012 10:35 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when I think I can make ends meet, some jackass cuts the rope.
←Rate | 06-20-2012 07:43 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A smart man will buy his wife the finest china, so she won't trust him to touch it.
←Rate | 06-27-2012 11:25 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon it true that the secret fantasy of a frustrated Amish woman is two Mennonite?
←Rate | 07-01-2012 16:50 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a woman answers the door wearing only a see through nightie, is she negligent?
←Rate | 07-02-2012 16:50 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be honest with yourself, deep down inside, is there anyone of us that doesn't desperately want to be "dead last"?
←Rate | 05-03-2011 15:54 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Few things are more annoying than someone setting a good example.
←Rate | 06-30-2012 09:45 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon New lovers are like computers...they go down unexpectedly.
←Rate | 06-26-2012 14:39 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon a woman with loose morals “Frito Lay”?
←Rate | 06-30-2012 21:38 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon George Zimmerman is proof that we don't need any more gun control. We need pin-headed vigilante control.
←Rate | 06-07-2012 01:09 by curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between a crooked lawyer and an intrepid chicken is, the chicken clucks defiant.
←Rate | 06-19-2012 12:57 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Advice from Aunt Fanny: #173 Remember, it's bad luck to be superstitious.
←Rate | 08-17-2012 10:13 by Curmudgeon Comments (0)  


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