hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wasn't whole until we met. Only now am I a complete idiot.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 04:09 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Caution: When someone tells you to get a grip, apparently around their neck is not what they meant.. Who knew
←Rate | 09-27-2012 04:08 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 04:27 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to retire and live off my savings. What I'll do the second day, I have no idea.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 04:25 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drank like 3 Four Lokos and some hand sanitizer last night, blacked out and apparently officiated a Monday Night Football game.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 04:24 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're in line, and the person in front of you doesn't notice the line moving, how soon can you shove them before it's considered rude?
←Rate | 09-26-2012 04:24 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm ignoring a phone call, the phone seems to ring far longer than usual.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 09:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could just “like” a text so I didn't have to respond.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 09:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told my girlfriend I wanted to take her to the fair because it would be romantic...that is better than admitting I just want cotton candy for dinner.
←Rate | 09-23-2012 09:46 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon This morning I was standing in front of a mirror looking at my naked body and thinking… “I'm going to get thrown out of this Ikea pretty soon.”
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon There needs to be an app that deletes my memberships right before my free trials run out.
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is “Yes. We are racing.”
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:51 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I desperately need a "hide political posts" button on Facebook so I can still like all my friends after the election year is over.
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:49 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear coworkers, I am never going to eat anything you cooked and brought in. I've seen the quality of your work here and I value my life.
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:48 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Just bought a Ken doll. I don't know what everyone's talking about, you can't read books on this thing
←Rate | 09-22-2012 10:43 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun way to freak out a friend who's engaged is to suddenly take her fiancé's last name & then tag yourself in all of her Facebook photos.
←Rate | 09-21-2012 05:03 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
←Rate | 09-21-2012 05:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are just people I hate marginally less than everyone else.
←Rate | 09-21-2012 05:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  




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