flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The store sign said the cashier has less than $20.. So I said "hang in there buddy!" and I gave him a quarter.
←Rate | 10-24-2013 13:44 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
←Rate | 10-22-2013 21:40 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ''K'' instead of ''OK''?
←Rate | 10-20-2013 21:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon with all due respect, officer, you were also going that fast.
←Rate | 10-11-2013 05:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do people who work in those office supply stores steal stuff from their homes to use at work?
←Rate | 10-05-2013 07:32 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are 2 types of people in this world, those who press "door close" in the elevator before others can jump on & those who are liars
←Rate | 09-23-2013 05:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she's going to get me something.
←Rate | 09-23-2013 05:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon After 39 years, I’ve perfected acting interested in reading a birthday card after the money falls out.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 07:23 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful when you're watching a movie with your wife. You're gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 07:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time you cuddle your cat, remember that her inner monologue is "You know if you died I'd eat your eyes, right?"
←Rate | 09-15-2013 07:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cashier asked me if I wanted a box for my groceries. I said "yes", and she punched me
←Rate | 09-07-2013 07:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if a tree falls in the woods it should break into a light jog so it looks like it did it on purpose.
←Rate | 09-04-2013 10:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald's stops serving breakfast.
←Rate | 08-29-2013 12:48 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have a smartphone.. I have a phone that shows potential, but refuses to apply its self.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 11:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 11:22 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adulthood is like the vet, and we're all the dogs that are excited for the car ride until we realized where we're going.
←Rate | 08-22-2013 05:32 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 15:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lost fifty dollars in my neighborhood. If someone finds it I'll give them a free dog.
←Rate | 08-17-2013 08:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the first rule of fight club was not to discuss it. Why did they make a movie about it?
←Rate | 08-17-2013 08:05 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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