flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Dear radio stations, instead of 40 minutes of commercial free music, how about 5 minutes of good music?
←Rate | 08-16-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Statue of Liberty is undergoing renovations. She's sure to attract a lot of immigrants with her new D-cups
←Rate | 08-16-2011 05:53 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to see the original blue prints for the city Starship built on rock and roll.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 19:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss Wesley Snipes. That man could act. You really believed for a moment that he was afraid of Michael Jackson in the Bad video.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 20:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can rely on me. I'm married, I'm trained to follow orders
←Rate | 08-19-2011 20:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two secrets to keep your marriage happy.. When you're wrong, admit it, and, when you're right, shut up.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 20:55 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my women the way I like my coffee. Yup, I like blonde slutty coffee with low self esteem and huge boobs
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:08 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People on morning radio shows find everything so much funnier than I do.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a guy driving a beat up car with a bumper sticker that said "My other car is a Porsche ." Why isn't he driving that other car then?
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun thing to do at public restrooms is to wait until someone leaves, click a stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:22 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever end up missing, please put my picture on a bottle of whiskey and not a milk carton, because I want fun people to find me.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its not a typo if you don't know how to spell the word.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone says "I love you," and you don't feel the same way, say "I love Youtube" really fast
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:31 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think at this point, the Beastie Boys are more concerned about Medicare coverage. Than the right to party
←Rate | 08-23-2011 19:37 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon While Prince may have found his mother demanding. Maybe she just didn't want to see him wear a frilly purple suit everyday
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, I guess these tequila shots aren't going to regret themselves
←Rate | 08-24-2011 15:56 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Lord, please give me the strength to forgive those who put LOL in their status updates
←Rate | 08-24-2011 16:03 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a black velvet Kenny Rogers painting today. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.
←Rate | 08-24-2011 16:06 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs
←Rate | 08-24-2011 16:10 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
←Rate | 08-24-2011 16:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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