snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Lord Almighty, Adele...REALLY ?,, Just burn his house down & get on with your life already.
←Rate | 04-02-2012 07:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The brownies I started making in my Easy Bake Oven in 1987 are ready if you guys want one.
←Rate | 11-18-2015 17:43 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson's to take his family members to the vets and get them microchipped.
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my current parking spot I'm a physician
←Rate | 05-18-2013 18:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the holiday my status will be closed... I Will reopen tomorrow at 8am. Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.. Enjoy your day people!!
←Rate | 09-05-2011 06:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time someone gives you a business card, stick it in your mouth and eat it without breaking off eye contact
←Rate | 09-15-2012 16:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around,,, Will the entire tree still be used to print a single CVS receipt?
←Rate | 04-03-2014 19:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Top Gun was so unrealistic,,, Everyone knows Tom Cruise can't reach the clutch on a motorcycle.
←Rate | 11-18-2013 07:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could really use one of those Chris Farley,, 'down by the river',, speeches right about now...
←Rate | 06-04-2012 20:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every meal I didn't have to cook myself,, is the best meal I've ever had.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 20:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretty sure I look forward to my boss' vacation's more than he does.
←Rate | 07-24-2013 19:45 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don't make the rules people.
←Rate | 05-10-2012 08:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,Just started reading "The Chubby Checker Story". No spoilers please,,,,,,, apparently there's a twist.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 16:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out I got another A in my daughter's science class.
←Rate | 10-04-2013 07:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever wonder how many of your friends are jerks? Just post something with a typo in it..... It's like their mating call.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's random act of kindness: feeding pepperoni slices to our vegan neighbor's 3 year old, through the mail slot.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 08:01 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Apparently, you can only say "look at you! You got so big!" to children,,, old girlfriends tend to get offended.
←Rate | 03-25-2013 08:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
←Rate | 03-27-2013 19:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy in a Prius run out of gas... instead of giving him a ride,, I sent him positive energy & world peace cause that means more to him.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 01:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've ever wondered what it's like to be a parent,, Just go in your kitchen, scatter cheetos and sugar. Then yell Stop,, No,, & Don't 300 times
←Rate | 09-25-2012 19:14 by snotty Comments (0)  




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