snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just found out I got another A in my daughter's science class.
←Rate | 10-04-2013 07:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,Just started reading "The Chubby Checker Story". No spoilers please,,,,,,, apparently there's a twist.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 16:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Baby found in the middle of the Meteorite crash site,,, he is miraculously unharmed... Wrapped in what seems to be a red cape.
←Rate | 02-16-2013 06:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's random act of kindness: feeding pepperoni slices to our vegan neighbor's 3 year old, through the mail slot.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 08:01 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ever wonder how many of your friends are jerks? Just post something with a typo in it..... It's like their mating call.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:36 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the holiday my status will be closed... I Will reopen tomorrow at 8am. Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.. Enjoy your day people!!
←Rate | 09-05-2011 06:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon After 31 free samples,, I decided I wasn't really in the mood for Baskin Robins
←Rate | 05-12-2013 15:37 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Pro driving tip: Look in your rear view mirror. If there's a long line of traffic behind you but no one in front of you, you're an ass.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 16:09 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon By the volume of the pans clanging amd slamming in the kitchen... I think I'm supposed to be volunteering to help with something
←Rate | 08-28-2012 07:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy in a Prius run out of gas... instead of giving him a ride,, I sent him positive energy & world peace cause that means more to him.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 01:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
←Rate | 03-27-2013 19:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've ever wondered what it's like to be a parent,, Just go in your kitchen, scatter cheetos and sugar. Then yell Stop,, No,, & Don't 300 times
←Rate | 09-25-2012 19:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
←Rate | 10-12-2012 12:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
←Rate | 03-21-2012 18:15 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon If I was single, I would have a stick figure of myself on the back of my car next to a bag of cash.
←Rate | 05-28-2012 08:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once dated a woman named Deb who hated to be called Deborah. Then I dated a woman named Tammi who really hated to be called Deborah
←Rate | 09-24-2012 17:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's crazy that your brain can calculate where to put your hand to catch a 98 mph fastball... But won't keep your mouth shut when a woman is angry
←Rate | 06-03-2015 10:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon BUMPER STICKER IDEA: I had sex with my wife and all I got was this honor student.
←Rate | 05-26-2015 19:47 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep a xylophone on me at all times,, just incase I have to tip toe anywhere
←Rate | 04-06-2013 10:04 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon American Idol would be so much better if Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets were the judges.
←Rate | 04-06-2012 17:37 by snotty Comments (0)  



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