andrew jackson Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You think you love your family but suddenly there's three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
←Rate | 04-11-2015 22:11 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Word of the day - MACROVERBUMSCIOLIST -Someone who pretends to know a word, then secretly looks it up.
←Rate | 10-02-2013 05:45 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Words of Wisdom: The police never think it’s as funny as you do.
←Rate | 09-10-2014 04:54 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another rapper was arrested with Justin Bieber. In related news, rappers are getting way less cool
←Rate | 01-25-2014 08:00 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Four Seasons, by Facebook: Spring: LOOK FLOWERS! Summer: LOOK AT MY DASHBOARD TEMP! Fall: LOOK LEAVES! Winter: MORE DASHBOARD PICS!
←Rate | 09-23-2013 11:37 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon A word to the wise. A paragraph to the smart. A long-form essay to the oblivious. A silent, meaningful gesture to the enlightened.
←Rate | 03-07-2014 05:29 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hippos are actually more dangerous than crocodiles and sharks combined." - Moron who clearly hasn't pictured a Crocoshark.
←Rate | 02-13-2014 04:55 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was there ever a time where secretly giving "bunny ears" in a photo was actually funny?
←Rate | 05-31-2015 07:30 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you love something let it go, if you don't love something definitely let it go. basically, just drop everything, who cares
←Rate | 03-28-2015 05:45 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon And that concludes the end of the presentation. Any questions? "Um yes. Hi. Since I stayed awake the whole time can I have a raise?"
←Rate | 04-30-2015 12:14 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon A large portion of my day consists of rushing frantically to places I don't really want to go to.
←Rate | 03-27-2017 05:53 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He’s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here.
←Rate | 04-14-2014 05:37 by andrew jackson Comments (1)  


   messageicon Mary Poppins was just called Mary before she got into breakdancing.
←Rate | 08-15-2014 14:54 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too
←Rate | 02-14-2015 10:27 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every superhero has a secret identity except Aquaman because no one cares he's Aquaman
←Rate | 04-08-2015 05:46 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, the chicken was somewhere between 7' to 10' tall.
←Rate | 11-02-2014 07:49 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact Ladies: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
←Rate | 02-18-2014 05:47 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I refuse to celebrate Earth Day until Wind & Fire are recognized.
←Rate | 04-23-2013 06:16 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm leaving my body to science because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
←Rate | 11-23-2014 07:17 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say ” I shouldn’t be telling you this,” at the beginning of every conversation so people will listen to what I’m saying.
←Rate | 04-22-2014 05:29 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  



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