Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm so drunk I almost answered my phone.
←Rate | 11-19-2013 11:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas; You need to know that if her favorite movie is The Notebook, she will never be satisfied and happy.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 13:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't hate yourself after it, you haven't eaten enough.
←Rate | 07-12-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys, just to let you all know I'll be closing my facebook account in three days. But in four days I'll be explaining why I didn't leave
←Rate | 08-08-2014 01:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y'all.
←Rate | 05-02-2014 09:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cigarettes take 50 years to kill you. I'm more worried about the stuff that does it quickly like sharks, lightning, women or flamethrowers.
←Rate | 06-04-2013 01:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather mail myself somewhere than ride in a Smart Car.
←Rate | 01-04-2014 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We had to let him go. He was only pulling 15 times his weight around here." - Corporate ants.
←Rate | 06-18-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Grandma, EBOLA is not a new perfume from Kim Kardashian
←Rate | 08-13-2014 02:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have accepted Nicki Minaj’s music as hip hop then you can’t *itch about Macklemore winning the best rap album award at the Grammys. You can't lower the bar for one person and deny another.
←Rate | 01-27-2014 05:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I’m done paying for studio time
←Rate | 12-14-2014 03:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is actually Kanye West's second marriage, as he's been divorced from reality for many years now.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 12:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
←Rate | 04-13-2014 14:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is one of those days where I wonder where it all went wrong. Then I realize it's never been right.
←Rate | 12-07-2013 11:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so thankful and grateful that out of all the planets in the universe, we live on one with pizza and vodka.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 07:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If love is a battlefield then I keep dying in basic training.
←Rate | 03-20-2015 12:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't believe people still go to the gym when they can just post it as their status and go have ice cream instead.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to welcome visitors to my home with a warm, and sincere 'Goodbye'.
←Rate | 06-19-2013 14:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so unsettling meeting a baby with a grown man's name. No I don't want to hold Grant but can he look over my investment portfolio for me
←Rate | 05-27-2016 13:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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