Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon We need a set time limit for when people can say "long story short," because it usually comes WAY too late.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd still choose rock over paper in a real fight.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why a “fat chance” and a “slim chance” mean the same thing.
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The list of things I won't eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
←Rate | 05-01-2010 14:28 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My body is not my temple... It's more like a bar and grill...
←Rate | 04-19-2010 19:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say there's a sucker born every minute but I'd be more curious to find out at what rate swallowers are born.
←Rate | 04-20-2010 22:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♫ If you're crazy and you know it take your pills! ♫
←Rate | 05-17-2010 09:59 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My check engine light is on. Someone needs to service me.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 17:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know what works better than a rape whistle? a rape pistol.
←Rate | 05-12-2010 13:54 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Work like you don't have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
←Rate | 04-22-2010 17:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon mixd whiskey with water and got drunk... mixed brandy with water and got drunk... I mixed scotch with water and got drunk again... therefore I've reached the conclusion that water is bad for me...
←Rate | 04-30-2010 01:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon LIFE INSURANCE: a contract that keeps you poor so you can die rich
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever wonder why wearing no underwear is called "going commando"? It seems to me it wouldn't be useful in a combat situation.
←Rate | 05-19-2010 16:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, when I feel optimistic about the future of mankind, I go read the comments on YouTube and it brings me right back to reality.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
←Rate | 04-23-2010 19:03 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1f you c4n r34d th1s you r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
←Rate | 03-23-2010 19:54 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon No man goes before his time....... Unless the boss leaves early...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon KFC is donating money towards breast cancer. They don't want anything killing their customers except heart disease.
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:39 by Joser Comments (0)  




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