Jake Funny Status Messages



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Page: 9 of 17

   messageicon Boobs are like the sun, you can take a quick look but it's dangerous to stare.
←Rate | 02-25-2018 23:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I watch football holding an X-Box controller just to confuse people.
←Rate | 05-26-2018 14:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most wives don't mind if their husband bring some work home to do. But my sister does, her husband is a mortician.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Living in a nudist colony, takes all the fun out of Halloween.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 22:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't see anything wrong with a kidnapping. If a kid wants to take a nap, let them.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 21:19 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The evening news begins with good evening. Then they proceed to tell you why it not.
←Rate | 04-28-2018 21:31 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands.
←Rate | 06-04-2018 15:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear hefty girl Walmart shopper. It may feel like summer, but your shirt and shorts are way to small. You look like a half open can of biscuits.
←Rate | 05-29-2018 18:30 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sister ask her brother: Am I pretty or ugly? Brother: Your both. Sister: What do you mean? Brother: Your pretty ugly.
←Rate | 10-13-2017 22:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about my wife's bj..... The five minutes of silence
←Rate | 05-06-2018 22:24 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
←Rate | 03-03-2018 00:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alimony should be spelled allmymoney
←Rate | 05-01-2018 22:03 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most licenses expire..... Except for the one most husbands wish would.
←Rate | 06-14-2018 00:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who don't have a dog, have to pick the food up them self that they drop on the floor .
←Rate | 08-30-2017 20:47 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how a single terd can shut down a water park.
←Rate | 05-07-2018 15:39 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I start wearing an earring when my wife found it in our bed.
←Rate | 03-18-2018 00:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon We were so poor. That one birthday my gift was a pack of batteries with a note, toys not included.
←Rate | 09-05-2017 16:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Quickest way to get a person to call you back. Take a bath.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 04:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 07:07 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon The difference between broccoli and boogers. Kids won't eat broccoli.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 20:14 by Jake Comments (0)  


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