Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I've got ADD and OCD so that means I've got something new to obsess about every 5 seconds.
←Rate | 06-21-2010 07:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching Man vs. Food and wonders how many more food challenges can this guy take before he has a massive heart attack?
←Rate | 06-29-2010 21:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon True love is me texting you back before I die on call of duty instead of after
←Rate | 07-19-2010 14:09 by R!ck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now over to world news: Good evening, the UN declared that they will be sending relief aid to Haiti in hopes that the victims of the...Oh..hang on.. this just coming in on the news wire..Lindsay Lohan was taken into custody today for probation violation..
←Rate | 07-20-2010 17:51 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to name her next pet Peeve.
←Rate | 07-21-2010 23:54 by DAYAM Comments (0)  


   messageicon dear science, thanks for all your contributions lately, but is there a chance we can get some windshield wiper fluid infused birds anytime soon? Thanks:)
←Rate | 07-22-2010 13:10 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon At times, I really wish that my place of employment had a chimpanzee that gives you an ice cold beer when leaving the office as part of your benefits package
←Rate | 08-13-2010 08:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks the “8″ in “Kate Plus 8″ refers to the remaining viewers.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 14:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be spending most of today putting Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
←Rate | 11-01-2010 09:22 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honk if you love peace and quiet.
←Rate | 11-04-2010 22:48 by BONNIE Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that car commercials know which old songs were good but oldies radio stations don't?
←Rate | 11-27-2010 19:26 by Luka Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say you always want what you can't have. Well I just had another beer and proved that theory to be incorrect.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 19:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says change your birthday on facebook to todays date, and see how many of your "friends" are totally clueless
←Rate | 12-06-2010 08:46 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Wiki Leaks is getting out of control -- They just leaked Santa's christmas list.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 10:07 by Ianmwash Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talk used to be cheap...then someone invented cell phones.
←Rate | 06-05-2011 22:47 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon They need to make a pop tart without all the crust
←Rate | 06-06-2011 12:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.
←Rate | 06-13-2011 21:31 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who can't find happiness aren't in a liquor store
←Rate | 07-11-2011 14:11 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Tired of online dating? You're not alone.” Yes you are. That's why you're dating online.
←Rate | 07-22-2011 16:00 by Bridget Comments (0)  


   messageicon BlackBerry laid off 11% of its workers. You can tell its bad cuz the CEO's announcement ended w/ the line "Sent from my iPhone."
←Rate | 07-27-2011 09:23 Comments (0)  




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