life Funny Status Messages

   Twitter makes me love people I've never met and Facebook makes me hate people I know in real life.

   I wish cats came with a counter that told you what life they were on. Number 8 kitty? Maybe you need to work on that attitude.

   Life makes you wise and Bud makes you weiser.

   Find someone who will change your life, not just your damn relationship status.

   believes in "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It" - quoting a military scholar

   Some things are meant to be just once in a life time. -Sincerely, One Night Stand

   Does a coffin come with a life time guarantee?

   Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one.

   been spendin' most his life livin' in a gangsta paradise...

   I drink a shot of whiskey a day as a toast to the great life I've lived. I finish the bottle for other reasons.

   Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important. Capture the good times. Develop from the negatives. And if things don't turn out, just take another shot.

   I spend 500% of my life exaggerating!

   Some people live one life and Facebook another.

   If I got poked in real life as much as I get poked on Facebook, I'd be one happy woman and would never leave my room!!

   "The greatest ironies of life: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight ...."

   What is it with the absent reference status messages. When people say things like "I can't believe you would do that" or anything with "You know who you are." We don't and frankly, we don't care. It's just you posting your drama filled life up to generate

   U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one Fish cant Drown.

   Just face it.... 9 out of 10 of your facebook friends would never be your friend in real life.

   Dear Fellow Motorist, When your nosehairs get so long you have a boog flapping in the wind hanging on for dear life that can be seen one lane over, I think it's time to invest in a trimmer. Sincerely, Really Grossed Out

   Some of the happiest years of a woman's life are when she's 29.