santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Pro tip: No matter how much you hate wrapping, never ask your wife to wrap her own Christmas presents.
←Rate | 12-15-2020 08:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I winked at her. She bought me eye drops.
←Rate | 12-15-2020 08:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty nine and a half foot pole” -Families making Christmas plans in 2020
←Rate | 12-15-2020 12:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think I've been staying home isolating for too long as I just watched a Hallmark holiday Christmas movie in its entirety and I actually thought it wasn't corny.
←Rate | 12-15-2020 12:38 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Sons Teacher: December 21st Saturn and Jupiter will align to make a Christmas Star
←Rate | 12-16-2020 00:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sons Teacher on zoom: On December 21st Saturn and Jupiter will align to form the Christmas star. Me in background: pssst....son ask her where Uranus will be? Son: Teacher where will Uranus be? Teacher: Well it will be over here. [Points to map] Son: Uranu
←Rate | 12-16-2020 00:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you do not brick up your chimney this year to keep Santa out, you’re not taking this virus very seriously.
←Rate | 12-16-2020 06:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my wife saw onlyfans on our credit card statement so now I have to get her a ceiling fan for christmas
←Rate | 12-16-2020 09:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting clothes for Christmas is like getting vegetables for your birthday. Yeah, you need them, but that doesn't make them appropriate.
←Rate | 12-18-2020 11:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel confidence they're going to be able to hammer out a stimulus deal by Christmas.....of 2021
←Rate | 12-18-2020 20:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Walking In a Wonderland" is a great Christmas song for Southerners to keep in mind since they don't know how to drive in it.
←Rate | 12-19-2020 09:59 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walking In a Winter Wonderland" is a great Christmas song for Southerners to keep in mind since they don't know how to drive in it.
←Rate | 12-19-2020 10:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, To be safe I'll be staying home for Christmas, so please just drop my presents on my porch and don't bother coming down the chimney. Thanks!
←Rate | 12-19-2020 11:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon LADIES.. ! Please stop asking Santa for the perfect man..I've been kidnapped 3 times this week !!
←Rate | 12-19-2020 18:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just checked my bank account and it looks like everyone is getting text messages for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-20-2020 00:42 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Santa will be wearing a mask during his visit to my house this year?
←Rate | 12-21-2020 10:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2021 will be decided by what the Chinese will eat this christmas
←Rate | 12-21-2020 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget to wave smile and wish your neighbors a Merry Christmas who are kind like Facebook friends you might not really know either, but live closer.
←Rate | 12-23-2020 11:01 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because you have a guitar, Christmas outfit and the Christmas tree doesn't necessarily mean you have the talent to sing on Facebook.
←Rate | 12-23-2020 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone please go to MeWe and Parlor and wish them a Merry Christmas.
←Rate | 12-23-2020 19:04 by CrispyBacon Comments (0)  




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