nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If your boyfriend isn't ignoring you as much as you'd like him to, suggest he join a few more fantasy football leagues.
←Rate | 09-05-2010 17:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if any body needs me I will be over here waiting for football season
←Rate | 06-21-2013 14:08 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football..
←Rate | 02-02-2017 20:05 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a great idea for improving Coldplay concerts. Stop the show halfway through and feature a 15 minute football game.
←Rate | 02-29-2016 11:59 by Fazzmanazz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tim Tebow speaking at the Republican National Convention guarantees the Republicans have no shot at winning the Superbowl next year.
←Rate | 07-15-2016 16:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.
←Rate | 08-31-2016 20:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wearing a football jersey to Buffalo Wild Wings is dad cosplay.
←Rate | 10-02-2016 04:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NCAA should allow Penn State to continue playing football, but their scores shouldn't be reported for 15 years.
←Rate | 07-22-2012 12:47 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?
←Rate | 08-24-2010 16:02 Comments (5)  


   messageicon Across this country right now, college marching bands are practicing call me maybe in time for the kickoff of college football.
←Rate | 08-25-2012 10:11 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Womens football. If it isn't raining I'm just not interested.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 16:07 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My buddy Jim has an impressive New Year's resolution. No more sex, no beer, no football, no nights out with the guys and no looking at other women. He's getting married tonight!!
←Rate | 12-31-2010 08:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to see a soccer player play real football and a real football player play soccer and see who cries first.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 10:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon after 16 years of leaving the Patriots, Pete Carroll finally won a superbowl for them
←Rate | 02-02-2015 17:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ya all complained about Jlo at the Superbowl snl look what you got, Jock strap Face
←Rate | 02-09-2021 07:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 21:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brett Favre retired today from the Minnesota Vikings of the National Football League... In other news, the Sun rose in the east this morning...
←Rate | 08-03-2010 13:27 by cassie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend came in while I was watching the football highlights she said, "Awww, is this the Paralympics?" I said, "No, it's Dallas Cowboys."
←Rate | 08-23-2012 23:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Washington Redskins: Where pro football players go to let there career die.
←Rate | 04-21-2010 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my drinking team has a football problem
←Rate | 06-01-2010 22:38 by one Comments (0)  




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