huck Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Really, Fresh Prince's mother? One little fight and you ship him across the continent? You won't get a "#1 Mom" mug from me, I assure you.
←Rate | 05-18-2014 06:45 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't talk to myself. My dog is generally around.
←Rate | 05-15-2014 05:15 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of Illiteracy Club is no reading. That was a test, and you failed. You're failing now. You're not welcome in Illiteracy Club.
←Rate | 05-01-2014 06:33 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking
←Rate | 04-30-2014 06:49 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boss: So, tell me your greatest weakness Me: Honesty Boss: I don't think that's a weakness Me: I don't really care what you think.
←Rate | 04-29-2014 06:10 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a guy in a trucker hat, with a handle bar moustache, wearing a bowtie, carrying a stack of records with an iguana on his shoulder walking down the street. Didn't think it was possible to OD on hipster
←Rate | 04-26-2014 06:43 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun thing to do #47 When you see someone on one knee tying their shoe stand in front of them and say "YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES"
←Rate | 04-25-2014 05:42 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your problem can’t be solved by me saying “that's messed up” and nodding a lot, then you shouldn’t come to me for help
←Rate | 04-24-2014 05:12 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out the button on the elevator with the fireman's hat on it is not the button for a free fireman's hat.
←Rate | 04-23-2014 05:41 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not that I'm judging you, but you hung your toilet roll the wrong way and I just think it best if we never spoke again.
←Rate | 04-23-2014 05:37 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bologna had a first name, but his adoptive parents changed it. If you're reading this, Oscar, just know: not a day goes by I don't think of you.
←Rate | 04-21-2014 13:01 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon New rule: unless you punched a shark in the face to dislodge that tooth, you’re not allowed to wear it on a necklace
←Rate | 04-18-2014 06:34 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t think of it as eating grapes, I think of it as preventing future raisins. Some call me a hero.
←Rate | 04-18-2014 06:34 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
←Rate | 04-17-2014 09:58 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
←Rate | 04-17-2014 06:06 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I question how authentic your Italian restaurant when you're Wednesday special is 12" hot dog
←Rate | 04-15-2014 05:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
←Rate | 04-11-2014 05:25 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
←Rate | 04-07-2014 06:02 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never follow my heart because involuntary, myogenic organs are terrible decision makers
←Rate | 04-04-2014 05:27 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should haved died in 1732.
←Rate | 03-26-2014 05:40 by Huck Comments (0)  


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