hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Kids these days are spoiled. Ipads, smart phones, video games, etc. But they'll never know the joy of putting an Ozzy Osborne cassette tape in a Teddy Ruxpin
←Rate | 10-06-2012 05:36 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some lady just told me that she was terrible at math and that she flunked "algeber". I'm sure she excelled in English class though.
←Rate | 10-01-2012 18:44 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon WARNING: "There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's" is apparently not a valid defense for Indecent Exposure.
←Rate | 10-01-2012 18:44 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I use my birthday as an excuse to do whatever the hell I want. So basically it's just like every other day, except with presents.
←Rate | 10-01-2012 18:43 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know there's no such thing as evolution because if there was my Facebook page would've grown a "punch" button by now.
←Rate | 10-01-2012 18:43 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the heck down.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 05:04 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided I'm not going to have kids. I love babies, but I'm just not ready for the commitment of uploading that many photos to Facebook.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 05:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 04:59 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found Samuel L. Jackson's swear jar and I don't think he's being completely honest with himself.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 04:58 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's very important that EVERYONE gets a flu shot this year so I don't have to.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 04:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a man with a Prius ask me for a jump start in the grocery store parking lot today. I threw a triple a battery at him. Good luck douche bag.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 04:12 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need more pets because I'm running out of passwords.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 04:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm old enough to remember when a car on the back of a tow truck meant transmission problem rather than repossession problem.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 04:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope I never die in a bar cause if someone calls a priest, a rabbi or a minister my life is gonna end up as one big joke.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 04:09 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon People hate pigeons because "they are dirty and spread diseases" but the Kardashians and the cast of Jersey Shore do it and pigeons don't hate them....just sayin
←Rate | 09-28-2012 05:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they made Siri a man's voice I'd trust the directions more.
←Rate | 09-28-2012 05:10 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon It makes me sad to think there are people in this world who have a favorite Kardashian.
←Rate | 09-28-2012 05:09 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone at this Walgreens is acting like I'm the only person to ever scream out their safe word while getting a flu shot.
←Rate | 09-28-2012 05:08 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon People act all surprised that there's a bacon shortage, as if they have never seen a single episode of Honey Boo Boo.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 04:12 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our kids will never know the terror of calling their crush on a landline and having their parents answer the phone.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 04:10 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  




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