Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's still so much I have to unlearn.
←Rate | 12-18-2014 23:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to come to your holiday party and stare at my phone all night.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 13:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After enough vodka shots, a toddler bed is actually quite comfortable.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 12:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone thinks they're incapable of committing murder until they see uncleared time on the microwave.
←Rate | 12-16-2014 09:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
←Rate | 12-15-2014 08:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I’m done paying for studio time
←Rate | 12-14-2014 03:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
←Rate | 12-14-2014 03:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so thankful and grateful that out of all the planets in the universe, we live on one with pizza and vodka.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 07:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman will type "I'm fine" while she is crying.
←Rate | 12-12-2014 01:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you cry all the time, you will save money on a tear drop tattoo.
←Rate | 12-12-2014 01:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the avocado of people. While you wait and wait for me to mature enough to be enjoyable, I sneakily transition into a disgusting mess.
←Rate | 12-11-2014 13:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't, under any circumstance, believe I'll return your Tupperware.
←Rate | 12-10-2014 07:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon people who have to say "i was being sarcastic" should stop trying to be something they are not good at.
←Rate | 12-10-2014 07:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excuse me Miss, but your new hairstyle is making everyone uncomfortable.
←Rate | 12-09-2014 13:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I’m such a great guy who is all these nice things you say and a guy who any woman would want and lucky to have, why then are you friend-zoning me, Stacey?
←Rate | 12-08-2014 08:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
←Rate | 12-08-2014 08:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a stalker, I'm just a self-appointed and unpaid private investigator.
←Rate | 12-04-2014 05:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A chatterbox is just a regular box that won't shut the fcuk up.
←Rate | 12-03-2014 12:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
←Rate | 12-03-2014 00:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  



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