Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Kisstopher707': View All Messages
Page: 8 of 25

   messageicon I'm the avocado of people. While you wait and wait for me to mature enough to be enjoyable, I sneakily transition into a disgusting mess.
←Rate | 12-11-2014 13:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't, under any circumstance, believe I'll return your Tupperware.
←Rate | 12-10-2014 07:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon people who have to say "i was being sarcastic" should stop trying to be something they are not good at.
←Rate | 12-10-2014 07:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excuse me Miss, but your new hairstyle is making everyone uncomfortable.
←Rate | 12-09-2014 13:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I’m such a great guy who is all these nice things you say and a guy who any woman would want and lucky to have, why then are you friend-zoning me, Stacey?
←Rate | 12-08-2014 08:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
←Rate | 12-08-2014 08:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a stalker, I'm just a self-appointed and unpaid private investigator.
←Rate | 12-04-2014 05:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A chatterbox is just a regular box that won't shut the fcuk up.
←Rate | 12-03-2014 12:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
←Rate | 12-03-2014 00:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Doctor says I'm morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 23:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 01:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No thanks speed dating. I'll settle for being awkward one date at a time.
←Rate | 12-01-2014 12:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am bored .Think I will go to the mall, find a great parking spot and sit in my car with my reverse lights on .
←Rate | 12-01-2014 01:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretty bad when your dog farts so loud he has the nerve to turn to see where the noise came from.
←Rate | 11-28-2014 08:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a Black Friday sale at my house, pants are 100% off
←Rate | 11-28-2014 01:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The way this woman squealed when getting proposed to is the exact same reaction I had when I found out the restaurant serves 3lb. lobster.
←Rate | 11-27-2014 12:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere someone's therapist knows you.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 09:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say stuff like "everyday is a new day" are also the same fools who say sh*t like "apples are fruits" and "women are humans"
←Rate | 11-19-2014 12:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
←Rate | 11-15-2014 00:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having a beard while wearing a suit says "I am a professional who might go through your trash later."
←Rate | 11-14-2014 23:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left