Mickey Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The Daytona 500 is over. And so we wait for its return much in the same manner we do all once a year occurrences...like the Flu and the April 15th tax deadline.
←Rate | 02-24-2013 21:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for ruining real honey for all of us, Boo Boo idiots.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 02:36 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas Schmistmas....March features the greatest holiday of the year. Any festivity that centers itself around getting drunk on beer, and stuffed on a big hunk of beef soaked in brine wins my vote.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 11:07 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've told you a million times...don't exaggerate.
←Rate | 03-08-2013 07:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between a Rottweiler and an insane ex? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go."
←Rate | 03-08-2013 08:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah yes, Friday. Wha...What was that? Saw it out of the corner of my eye. There, behind the...I just saw it duck down. There it is again disappearing just as I almost get a glimpse of it. MONDAY! I KNOW IT'S YOU, YOU BA$TARD!
←Rate | 03-15-2013 20:10 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the library and asked for a book about small peni$es. The librarian said, "I'm not sure if it's in yet." "Yep, that's the one", I said.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 09:00 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon A hard-0n doesn't count as personal growth.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 18:23 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon April Fools Day: Don't believe anyone or anything...like you should any other day.
←Rate | 04-01-2013 12:35 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Internet searches get you many results, most are different and leaves one more confused than before the search. As a source for answers, the much lauded "Super Information Highway" has become the "Road To Nowhere".
←Rate | 04-02-2013 13:07 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Screvving with a rubber is like eating steak with a balloon on your tongue.
←Rate | 04-04-2013 13:32 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon White Castle is down to their last pound of ground beef. That ought to be good for another million burgers.
←Rate | 04-05-2013 21:38 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah yeah, I'm a Grammar Nazi. Better than a Dumb Fokker.
←Rate | 04-06-2013 13:40 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drop most of my money on wine, women and song. What's left gets spent foolishly.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 13:06 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just invented a birth control pill for men. I figure it makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bullet proof vest.
←Rate | 04-20-2013 19:05 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who remembers when big ol' gigantic ol' Rosie O'Donnell came out of the closet? Okay it was a storage unit but.....
←Rate | 05-01-2013 07:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went on a blind date last night. She had crabs. Good thing she was wearing fish net stockings.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 06:52 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those three little words. Those three little wonderful words that mean so much. Yes. Those three little wonderful words: "HEY LET'S EAT!"
←Rate | 05-08-2013 09:43 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just heard that the Japanese are going to clone a Woolly Mammoth discovered in Russia. Really Japan, really? Did you not learn anything from that time with Godzilla?
←Rate | 05-10-2013 13:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm hungrier and more frustrated than a legless Ethiopian watching a donut roll down a hill.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 13:26 by Mickey Comments (0)  



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