Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Today is one of those days where I wonder where it all went wrong. Then I realize it's never been right.
←Rate | 12-07-2013 11:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with alcohol is that that... it wears off.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 06:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being smart doesn't stop yolu from doing stupid things.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 07:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There’s now a song called Saturday by Rebecca Black. The silly ho is slowly trying to ruin all of the days of the week.
←Rate | 12-09-2013 23:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want people to leave you alone? Tuck in your sweater.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon This bottle of Jack Daniels and I are gonna need a do not disturb sign and a safe word tonight.
←Rate | 12-12-2013 12:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The whole idea of a drug free workplace is funny, isn't it? I mean the workplace is why I need drugs in the first place.
←Rate | 12-13-2013 00:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say marriage is only between a man and a woman underestimate my love for pizza.
←Rate | 12-14-2013 11:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.
←Rate | 12-14-2013 11:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not so much offended by what Megyn Kelly says, but I'm offended that someone so dumb and foolish has her own TV show.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 00:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soul mate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 05:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more selfies she has, the more times you'll have to tell her she's pretty everyday.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to tell if a girls mad at you: 1. Shes telling you she's not mad at you.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 06:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad how an animal like a dog shows more humanity than humans do.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 23:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t flatter yourself. I'm not attracted to you, this vodka I am drinking is.
←Rate | 12-19-2013 13:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my brain has too many tabs open.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships? No, I prefer alcohol and pizza.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 15:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye West blows out candles on a birthday cake he wishes it was his birthday, instead of whoever's party he's at.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I smoke because I enjoy the smell of death.
←Rate | 12-26-2013 09:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love isn't real until one of you is on meds.
←Rate | 12-26-2013 10:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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