sully Funny Status Messages

   Do Obama phones immediately quit working if the government shuts down? Asking for a friend......

   Friday the 13th might be an unlucky day, but when you live in the land of bacon, badasses and bald eagles, every day is a lucky day....... ‪#‎America‬

   America. Even when we lose, we still win..... USA!!

   Breaking: Elmo taking over as the "special teams" coach at Penn. State!

   This is not a post. This is a lip-sync of a post.....

   Hurricane Tip: If you get stung by a wind flung jellyfish have a friend pee on you, ASAP......

   Okay, Earth Day is over, we can start f**king up the planet again........

   Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?

   BREAKING: Penn State to keep Paterno statue, but plan to move it into the showers....Or something like that?

   What if somebody finds the missing plane tomorrow but no one believes them because April fools....?

   Fonzie never wore a safety harness jumping the 14 garbage cans in front of Arnold's or jumping the shark tank. Don't be a Potsie Wallenda, ditch the harness..

   Damn it...... I've been eating Thin Mints like crazy and haven't lost a freakin pound?

   Looking at those meteorite videos from Chelyabinsk. I have learned Russians have very bad radio stations....

   Damn Earthquake made me spill my tea, and I'm a 1000 miles away.. I'm available for interviews ; )

   Paid a kid $20.00 to cut my grass - I've officially created more jobs this year than Obama.......

   And there are some that say I don't need an AR-15 and 30 round mags. Yeah right....

   it just me or does it look like the Carnival cruise ship is leaving a skid mark across Mobile Bay?

   Only thing Obama tried to fix today was the 2014 elections.....

   You guys see the Casey Anthony video diary yet? I think she's grown. She looks like the kind of person you could start, and then murder a family with.......

   Don't worry about the problems in North Korea, besides the destroyer......we've sent the B52's over. They'll surrender once they've listened to Love Shack a few times.