snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Awww.... It looks like the neighbors are having the police dept over for brunch..
←Rate | 04-24-2012 01:01 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Huh?,, Daylight Saving Time is this weekend?,,,,I'm not going to lose any sleep over it
←Rate | 11-05-2011 07:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey,,, guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes,,,,,, NOBODY likes you.
←Rate | 06-30-2012 08:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just called the bank for my account info,, and a voice whispered 'If you break the pack in half, Ramen noodles can last you two days.'
←Rate | 05-14-2015 18:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess you could call her a trophy wife. She’s tattooed with the names of the previous winners.
←Rate | 03-12-2014 19:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon PRO TIP: You can put a baseball card between the spokes on a Prius, and make it sound like a real car
←Rate | 10-12-2013 15:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange..... P.S. No weirdos.
←Rate | 04-16-2016 08:19 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should hang out and stare at our phones.
←Rate | 04-20-2012 17:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Saw a Vespa crash into a Toyota Prius today...... There was glitter everywhere.
←Rate | 04-28-2012 19:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon This woman at Walmart has a lovely set of March Madness teeth.. She's down to the final 4.
←Rate | 03-13-2012 19:10 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson's to take his family members to the vets and get them microchipped.
←Rate | 01-16-2015 08:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon The brownies I started making in my Easy Bake Oven in 1987 are ready if you guys want one.
←Rate | 11-18-2015 17:43 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lord Almighty, Adele...REALLY ?,, Just burn his house down & get on with your life already.
←Rate | 04-02-2012 07:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my current parking spot I'm a physician
←Rate | 05-18-2013 18:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every meal I didn't have to cook myself,, is the best meal I've ever had.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 20:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could really use one of those Chris Farley,, 'down by the river',, speeches right about now...
←Rate | 06-04-2012 20:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around,,, Will the entire tree still be used to print a single CVS receipt?
←Rate | 04-03-2014 19:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Top Gun was so unrealistic,,, Everyone knows Tom Cruise can't reach the clutch on a motorcycle.
←Rate | 11-18-2013 07:56 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretty sure I look forward to my boss' vacation's more than he does.
←Rate | 07-24-2013 19:45 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hope I never go to jail,, because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2003.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 22:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


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