StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hey self-appointed MILFs, easy does it. We'll let you know.
←Rate | 06-30-2014 21:11 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
←Rate | 10-21-2014 14:41 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon How does a woman carry a child in her stomach for 9 months, go through all the pain, hold it in her arms, and end up calling it laquisha
←Rate | 02-04-2014 15:11 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just drove by an Asian restaurant - Wok n' Roll - well played Chinese people. So crever
←Rate | 01-03-2014 11:01 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 23:18 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 10:07 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon I do not have a drinking problem... people without arms have a drinking problem.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 01:37 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month? What an Idiot.
←Rate | 07-16-2012 12:44 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made this status nice and short so you can just move onto the next one.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 16:14 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We'll all be dead soon anyway.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 20:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
←Rate | 08-29-2012 20:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon People assume I'm smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Twix bar and they recognize my true genius.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:02 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men everywhere should appreciate Starbucks attempt to brainwash women into believing that grande means medium.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 19:52 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, you can sit next me. The other 123 empty chairs in this movie theatre probably suck anyways
←Rate | 09-25-2013 19:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes "Don't Do It"
←Rate | 02-15-2013 21:28 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she posts 7 new selfies a day, Regardless of how hot she is, Let it go bud. You'll never give the amount of attention required. Science.
←Rate | 06-11-2015 17:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts.
←Rate | 12-01-2014 12:45 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 11:32 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 13:59 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever being single gets me down, I like to close my eyes, take a deep breath and then go do whatever I want pretty much nonstop.
←Rate | 02-22-2015 12:51 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  




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