Mick F Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon They say pot is a Gateway drug. If I don't hurry up and smoke some, this POS Gateway computer is going out the window.
←Rate | 11-29-2011 07:51 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook's starting to creep me out. I just got a friend request from a woman with the following attached message, "I like you. I like my men like I like my coffee. Freeze dried in a jar kept in the back of the fridge." I clicked "accept". Was that a mist
←Rate | 08-09-2011 03:43 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My father was right up there with Einstein in the Science department...She taught me all about TIME TRAVEL "If you don't behave, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."
←Rate | 09-11-2011 05:49 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon She won't let me warm my icicle feet on her toasty inner thighs due to the availability of a technology called "socks." WHATEVER.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 17:17 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. What's DNA stand for? A. National Dyslexics Association
←Rate | 10-04-2011 08:03 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wishing all my facebook friends a fantasmagorical weekend filled with fun, sun, and...hang on a sec....huh?....okay, it's supposed to rain all weekend so never mind.
←Rate | 10-08-2011 06:22 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just finished the last of the Girl Scout Thin Mints I've been hoarding. Child labor laws, schmabor laws. Those kids bake a damn good cookie.
←Rate | 03-08-2012 18:01 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon :V (Guy who talks out of one side of his mouth).
←Rate | 10-19-2011 05:28 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to a pizzeria yesterday that puts marijuana instead of oregano in their sauce. I ended up eating 30 pizzas.
←Rate | 09-06-2011 10:57 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England, so the other one could drive.
←Rate | 07-25-2011 00:18 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon cont'd: I do not like your top news trends, instead of recent news from friends. It was just fine, but now it's pus, don't make us jump to Google Plus!
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:43 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Rockin' Praise band at your hypocritical Creep Me Out Church doesn't exactly make your ancient 13th century worldview progressive.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 19:34 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of my old friends pretend to be content upon a shelf. They've all got little lives and little wives and little lies but little else.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 08:03 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:27 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon All my life I've blamed myself for having a weight problem. Turns out it was my mom's fault. It's not that she prepared fattening dishes, or made me eat a lot. It's just that instead of having an egg in her uterus, she had bacon.
←Rate | 10-02-2011 10:45 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just finished a frenzied reciprocal poke session on facebook. I think my finger just came.
←Rate | 11-27-2011 12:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm more scared than Barack Obama at a Willie Nelson concert.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 06:11 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Initials and Acronyms. Casey Marie Anthony=CMA=Caylee's Murderer Acquitted
←Rate | 07-07-2011 19:51 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to hate going to family weddings. All my aunts uncles used to poke me and say, "You're next!" They stopped doing it when I'd say the same thing to them at funerals
←Rate | 09-15-2011 16:57 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hit the 5,000 friends mark today. Which isn't bad, until you realize that I've been on facebook since 1872.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 19:23 by Mick F Comments (0)  




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