Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
←Rate | 02-25-2018 10:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks, Michael Douglas, for ruining the ONLY time I'm not worrying about cancer.
←Rate | 06-03-2013 05:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're happy and you know it go away.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 11:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your french fries are just my french fries on the wrong plate.
←Rate | 05-25-2013 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how many people's phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
←Rate | 05-09-2014 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for sex, I would have quit being a grown-up a long time ago.
←Rate | 11-20-2013 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched a twerk video that made me wish I was Stevie Wonder.
←Rate | 09-28-2013 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Canadian cops play good cop better cop.
←Rate | 11-30-2013 13:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
←Rate | 09-19-2014 02:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see someone walking around with a selfie stick, I always wonder what happened for them to just give up on life like that.
←Rate | 03-28-2016 14:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a Facebook friend deleted and blocked.
←Rate | 08-13-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only if these women were as thorough in choosing a man as they are in choosing which selfies to upload on facebook maybe they wouldn't get heartbroken so often.
←Rate | 07-13-2014 23:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soul mate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 05:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships these days are like birthdays; once the cake is eaten, the party's over!
←Rate | 06-26-2013 06:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Please pray for all the people at my last job. They're fine but they still work there
←Rate | 10-25-2017 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon This has been one of those years That I should've stayed in bed
←Rate | 12-06-2013 14:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I enjoy long romantic walks to my liquor cabinet.
←Rate | 02-10-2014 11:56 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After enough vodka shots, a toddler bed is actually quite comfortable.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 12:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've outsourced my LIKES, Birthday wishes and comments on your post and pics to a firm in India. So if Sanjay isn't showing you enough love, please let me know right away.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 09:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who say the quickest way to a mans heart is through his stomach hasn't seen his browser history.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 13:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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