Jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A university's study of the human brain said the only difference between a wowan's brain and a man's brain is that the woman's brain is located in their head.
←Rate | 03-22-2018 23:01 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally reached the age where happy hour is taking a nap.
←Rate | 06-05-2018 13:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's worse, women who want you to figure what's bothering them? Or the ones who tell you?
←Rate | 06-05-2018 13:53 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue. I've got five fingers, and just one is for you.
←Rate | 03-05-2018 23:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watched my cat play with a ball of yarn for 5 minutes. And thougt how easily their entertained. Then realized, I just watched my cat play with a ball of yarn for 5 minutes.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Conflicting emotions: Watching your mother in-law drive off a cliff in your brand new car.
←Rate | 10-03-2017 01:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon digesting the fact you've moved onto better things.. LOL JKS you're new boyfriend looks like a retard.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 01:49 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo recieves before leaving the factory? Two test-tickles.
←Rate | 06-25-2018 01:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon . Have you heard the saying the truth will set you free? I told the judge the truth and got three years.
←Rate | 08-25-2017 18:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man's home is his castle. Untill the queen comes home.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 20:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The government and a duck have something in common. They both can stick their bills up their (_|_) :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 18:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bad decision: Saying come in to a Jehovah Witness at your door.
←Rate | 07-22-2018 15:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon should not be mistaken for Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, just because there appears to be a large package in his pants.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 08:18 by jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. But smoking bacon will cure it.
←Rate | 04-30-2018 17:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The reason you get paid more at a sperm bank than a blood bank is because the sperm is hand made.
←Rate | 02-27-2018 18:33 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're going to open a strip club. Don't name it the G spot. Because men will never be able to find it.
←Rate | 03-27-2018 22:50 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I pick up a copy of the new book The Long Walk Home by Miss. D. Bus.
←Rate | 05-26-2018 17:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
←Rate | 08-02-2018 14:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife's cooking is so bad, we pray after the meal.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 18:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
←Rate | 01-30-2018 03:57 by Jake Comments (0)  




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