Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   thought about dozens of Vampire movies and shows for the past decade and wondered which ones sucked the life out him and the ones that just sucked.

   Police and doctors are fun to watch on TV. Just look at all the shows. In reality, its not as fun when they all watch you. You either done something wrong or something wrong has been done to you.

   FACT: Every woman got a girlfriend that they don't trust around their man.

   Could switching to Geico really save you 50% or more on car insurance???.....Does being on Facebook really give you the feeling that people's lives are a little over-exaggerated just by reading their status updates?

   Dear Ladies: Smiles are more attractive than duckfaces. Keep that in mind when you're editing your dating profile.

   Sugar Babies --- College girls hooking up with older men to pay their tuition.

   You ever notice sometimes all day on Wednesday you keep thinking its Thursday? Then when Thursday comes, you're al right again.

   Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I'll rememeber; involve me and I'll understand.

   Due to the scare of Dec 21, 2012, my "Baby Boom" Prediction should be coming up right on schedule this month and in September.

   One of the most dangerous weapons in our time.....Social Networking. And we're all trigger happy.

   Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this bit¢h breathing out of her nose like she owns the oxygen here."

   Dear Rain, thanks for washing away the yellow flower sperm that "skeeted" on everything.

   If a Chinese student knows more English than you do in terms of punctuation and grammar....you're screwed.

   Just got my hearing test results back. Turns out I am deaf to a range in which women complain.

   Don't be sad, if you think you're not important to someone....or something, Just Google yourself.

   Funny how people get easily buzzed about the new iphone and droid phones. Meanwhile, China and Japan are sitting back laughing at us with their better (possible) 5G phones.

   Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It.

   Did everybody see the trailer for the new Free Willy movie? They kept on showing it on the news.

   Play any of the Terminator or Conan video games nowadays and amazingly the 'cheat codes' will be already be turned on.

   Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.