Bill Funny Status Messages

   Sometimes, to retain moisture, I'll brine whatever I'm smoking or grilling. I've found the best brine is made from the tears of 1000 vegans.

   heading out to track down that homeless guy holding the "End Of Days Is Coming", "Repent Now" sign at the corner....Be right back : )

   I'm not sure who the heck Martha Graham is, but damn she inspired a great Google Doodle today.........

   rael, I will trade my Obama for your Netanyahu and I will even throw in Joe Biden if you want him........

   Now we finally know what Obama was hiding on his birth certificate. Under favorite band, it says: "Nickleback."

   World Cup in Qatar? Does that mean 2024 Summer Olympics in Baghdad or Kabul?

   (_̅_̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅̅_̅__̅_̅_̅()~~~ passs it!!!

   FYI West Coast friends: If your just waking up, you might want to put floaties on. Just saying......

   giving up Pabst Blue Ribbon for Lent.. first few days are always the hardest

   I think I want a 3D bigscreen, now I just need 3 grand....

   I ate all of the Girl Scout cookies : ( Do you think Michelle Obama would mind if I buy some more??

   just heard a rumor that President Obama is going to hire Servpro (Like it never even happened) to remove the remaining water out of BP's oil in the Gulf of Mexico........

   BREAKING NEWS: Mubarak to remain in office, "I will step down when the Cleveland Cavaliers win a game." More details coming soon.......

   I got my Do-si-dos. Sad thing is I'm about to eat the whole box, I'll be mad at myself later...........

   Did the Colonel really call President Obama his son?? Why am I not surprised.........

   Breaking News: Governor Scott Walker to announce Omar Suleiman as his vice-governor in Wisconsin.........